Rick Rollance

Put a little Zyn spit on my 56° and immediately chipped in after. You do the math, liberal.

@SteveFreed13 Not to be mistaken with the B1G Gatorade towel used in September to commemorate football season starting

March Madness means B1G Gatorade towel as the hand towel.

$50 worth of bdubs secured, racing home before the edible kicks in- A light sparkles and for a moment I am 16 again, not 34 and $36,543.76 in credit card debt.

Imma start invoicing my bitch for Rub n Tugs if she don’t start spittin on that thang freaky style soon

Does everybody else fuck with student drivers on the road and pull illegal maneuvers around them, or is that just me?

@DiveBarDave69 @SantaDecides

@SantaDecides @honkey_talks is the only acceptable answer

Best part about Oklahoma?

@OldTumorX Actually pretty solid advice here, Old Tumor

@honkey_talks There’s such a thing as too much too soon, but don’t lie if it comes up. Everyone has skeletons in their closet but leading with all of the bad things is self sabotage and that can be a bigger turnoff than whatever war story that you waited a few months to divulge unbidden.

How do I tell my girlfriend who goes to church twice a week that I used to raid people’s pill cabinets at house parties like, not that long ago

Short answer; don’t say anything and cheat

Got paid and didn’t notice #Different

@Eng_china5 Might I also add, she’s very clearly retarded (woman)

A doctor returning from a 36-hour shift tried to enter a house, but instead of inserting the key and opening the door, she tried to scan her ID card as if it were the door to a hospital.

@Eng_china5 36 hours yeah I’m sure, give her a Red Bull and a fruit flavored geek bar and she’ll show you snow tricks Shaun White has even mastered yet

@ClayTravis Feel for the old guy who brought his bitch to the section next to them, that’s GG’s

The US hockey team rolled into E11ven night club in Miami and led the club in singing the national anthem. This is phenomenal:

This is objectively the coolest thing ever

@JDBunkis One time in 1987 I took so much acid I counted every speed limit sign from Litle Rock, AR to Derby, KS.

Biggest fluke in sports history. Congrats to the Americans. Never beat Sid when it counted and needed a 3-on-3 bounce

THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA OWNS HOCKEY GOLD MEDAL FOR THE USA 🇺🇸

@JamesLaverty45 @b1gdumb1diott Staff retreat going sicko mode

@b1gdumb1diott We went bowling

President Trump is WIDE AWAKE at all hours WORKING HARD for YOU!

Women study to become an RN but I was born one

Can't believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3am last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

@tjoshiebestfan Big dog

For the haters and losers (of which there are many)