Paul Rob

if you live to be 100 you should make up some weird reason why, just to screw with people, like claim you ate a pinecone everyday or something

Passenger Announcement: I'm looking for Miss Vanel off the Barcelona flight. If you know Ayla Vanel please come to reception. Ayla Vanel please make yourself know. Would Ayla Vanel...COLIN YOU BAST...

Erm, I think we know a ceiling toaster when we see one, thanks very much.

If you press the bottom of the cylinder, her legs collapse

Can I bum a fag?

Never gonna turn around...

Ok, so I learned that these are called phonesthemes :)

I'll stick to Marmite.

@TLanokia @shallit43 @mattwridley @DailyMail @theCCCuk It appears that you believe everything that the media tells you.. Or doesn’t.. And the fact that you choose ad hominem suggests it further.. bbc.com/news/world-eur…

@iPaulRob @shallit43 @mattwridley @DailyMail @theCCCuk That you wrote something so deeply dumb says it all.

In my @DailyMail essay on the @theCCCuk's new report, I point out that they have a vested interest in exaggeration. "Between the moment when these climatecrats wake in the morning and the moment they lay their overworked brains to rest on feather pillows at night, they have one all-consuming ambition: to maximise their own budget. They achieve this goal by being as alarmist as possible. Imagine if they found evidence that climate change was no big deal or even good news: would they want to publish this? Of course not. It would be disastrous for their (taxpayer-funded) income. The committee has never produced a report on global greening: the remarkable 15-20 per cent increase in green vegetation on the planet over the past four decades, caused mostly by carbon dioxide emissions. Nor do its members talk about falling deaths from cold weather anywhere near as much as they do about the smaller number of deaths from hot weather. Good news for us, in short, is no news for them.

@shallit43 @mattwridley @DailyMail @theCCCuk Says the man with the Nazi flag..

@mattwridley @DailyMail @theCCCuk As opposed to coal-mine-owner Matt Ridley, who clearly has no vested interests at all! The lack of self-awareness is truly astonishing here.

Scottish clothing labels:

Me and my son have been sneaking out in the middle of the night in our Ewok and Chewbacca costumes just to mess with our neighbor's trail cams.

I'd give it another 800 years if I were you

We are back!! Our Nigerian hackers have been defeated after a two week cyber siege that would have done the Icelandic Sagas proud. We are peaceful people, but if we ever play Nigeria at cricket, you boys are going to take one hell of a beating!

OK, so naked running. Apparently this means running without GPS, music and any other tech. I wish I knew this an hour ago.

It's well known as the simplest and most direct route to the city centre

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a list in possession of three or more items is in want of an Oxford comma.

Thankfully gas prices can never go above $9.99 since most of the signs only have three digits

My grandma's carrots next spring were the size of baseball bats.