unblock me george lopez

“wait a second… Heat rises” (it hits me) “heat rises!” Bank teller on floor: what? “Heat rises!” (I rush at the armed robber and he shoots me in the face killing me instantly. It’s unclear what my plan was)

I be sitting at customers tables telling them all about our work drama

was sad so I bought 2 vintage dior bags and an italian greyhound puppy

do u think the bartender I work with who only calls me by my full name and makes me pretty mocktails all day long wants me

I will figure it out I think

at the antique store touching a bunch of stuff then rubbing my eyes

(angriest i’ve ever been in my life) the wind feels nice

taking my ferrets to get pictures with the Easter bunny and I just know they're gonna be bad

Ohhhh you hate me. Should we have a party. Should we invite my Mother

@sweetgreasyb you and those damn smoke shop pills

Can u od on smoke shop Kratom bars?

buying littlest pet shop on the japanese dark web

holding my dandelion like a cigarette

I have the kind of autism that requires centrifugal force

you don't get it I NEED the gravitron

You are speaking to me as if I am a horse you own instead of a horse you are lucky to have stumbled across in a meadow.

was coordinating a stunt at work (not my job) and offered to be the dummy (also not my job) and got thrown through the door so hard my shoulder is going to be able to tell when it's gonna rain for the rest of my life

i have always felt a strange connection to the meat department in the grocery store

my dad got CTE at the indian head spa

In my next life I wanna be a commonly hunted fish

punxsutawney phil is fat as hell of course he sees his shadow every year