Jimmy ★彡

LET ME HOST THE REUNION! 🇺🇸

this is bye sister for white supremacists

Im gonna keep on dancing at the

China is oneshotting us. Total cultural victory

i kinda love being hungover like waking up and talking to myself like a governor in a disaster zone. We Will Rebuild

“I don’t have a dog in this fight” : normal, if grim “I don’t have a horse in this race” : less common, but meaning obvious “I don’t have a dog in this race” : subverts expectations; strong imagery “I don’t have a horse in this fight” : spellbinding, transcendent synthesis

They should do a Calculator App Wrapped where it shows you the dumbest calculations you did this year. Real moron stuff like 20% off 20, or 1x8, or 6+9

him: are you high? me: am i what? him: high me: hello

Remember to set those clocks back because:

i think about this sometimes

on da cob, we all corn

grabbed edamame from the table and slurped it just to realize there was no bean inside and it had already been ransacked by another person’s tongue

me eating the brownie that makes you gay

.@Enterprise this was the only rental they could offer me at LAX wtf

quitting my job to focus on Halloween

They’re like cocomelon to me. I could watch this for hours and not think a single thought

love when things are unintentionally profound… the phrase “show me to me” is immediate full body chills