James Iles

*@eltonofficial singing his new Christmas single* “Remember when I thought Elton John was blind because I was thinking of Lionel Richie!? That was funny wasn’t it.” “…” “…” “Katie…….” “Oh what now!?” @KatieVIles #shitmysistersays

“How do you spell Gorgeous? G-A-W-J…” “Wait, the actual spelling of Gorgeous?” “Yeh!” “… G,O…“ “Huh?” “..R-G.. “What!?…” #shitmysistersays

“I need to go and check the Turkey” “What for? Ebola?” “What?” That’s what you get from turkey right?” “… No.” #shitmysistersays @KatieVIles

@SFitzpatrick92 would you still pick 13 all blacks in a combined NZ Eng team 🤣

@capitalcom how do you set an alert on your desktop platform? Easy on mobile, not obvious on a browser… thanks!

“Y’know the #shitmysistersays about Eastern Europe?” “Yeh?” “I’ll be right soon wont I?” “What that youll be Eastern European?” “Yeh!” “No.”

“She probably knows about Santa but maybe not the whole Joseph being crucified bit” “…That was Jesus.” “Oh…” “And Easter.” #shitmysistersays

@AdeleRoberts There are only 5 Pizza Express in Birmingham centre and there is only one near both a Costa and Subway - Oozels Square - next to the Sea Life centre and Birmingham Arena... #hideandseek

“Am I Eastern European?” “… what?” “Am I?” “What are you doing? “Filling out a form?” “… you’re British.” #shitmysistersays @KatieVIles

For 1 day only… #shitmysistersays - the visitor edition.

@bencavs 😂

*Leaked question from the 2018 GCSE Math paper* - James & Sarah have 1 house. James & Sarah have 2 doors on their house. James & Sarah have just had a quote for £11,000 to change those doors. What will the average temperature of the house be after deciding they don’t need doors?

@DWFitnessFirst how do I contact someone about a complaint?

*Hugh Grant looks towards Margaret Thatcher picture on the wall in Love Actually* “… is that Theresa May?” “…” #shitmysistersays @KatieVIles

@CostaCoffee why have you halved the size of your Raspberry and Almond bakes? Religiously ate those things, not anymore! 😕

@BRillustrations aw man! That’s awesome.. what do I need to do? 😀👍🏽

@BRillustrations 😳 howwwww??

“Want me to take your case?” “It’s okay.” “Sure?” “Yeh. It’s got four wheels so it’s like I’m walking a dog!” #shitmysistersays @KatieVIles

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“There’s Duct tape Sar…” “Oh!…” “…what?” “It isn’t spelt like a duck!?“ “……no.“ @sarahwills12 #shitsarahsays