Jane

@Ancommiey Their phone number is freely listed on their website. Just sayin’ 🤷🏻‍♀️

The church he own has a Twitter account its @StedfastK Please report it.

@michaeltemkin Welcome to Texas!

This is a new one for me.

@PotteryBarnKids so... a slipcover is $159, but shipping it is $149?

@sfspca hey y’all! Saw you’re taking towels and blankets... comforters too? Clearing out and would love to give what we can!

@LaurenBerson Can we talk about your rings instead?! Love!

CPG innovation ladies and gentlemen.

@justinruff Ugh, Justin, I’m so sorry. Thinking about you all.

Y’all I just had to tell my 10-year-old daughter that her uncle died because he was an alcoholic who wouldn’t get help. Please, PLEASE, if you are struggling, go get help. Do not put your family through what we’re going through tonight.

@michaeltemkin No, you’re just basic *sips psl*

I just made a BASIC joke in a meeting. I’m so fucking old.

@michaeltemkin @anamariecox Sorry, your dog was sleeping on the job 😴

I desperately need a pet thread today. @anamariecox help?

@jgoldschrafe I disagree with you wholeheartedly.

@JadedCreative hahaha

@michaeltemkin @IvePetThatDog @dog_rates Woof

@janeadelle @IvePetThatDog @dog_rates All these puns are getting kind of ruff.

Is pawsome a thing? It feels like a word that should be used. I feel like @IvePetThatDog and @dog_rates should use it.

Actually this one 👇 is pretty arfful.

@michaeltemkin @IvePetThatDog @dog_rates Pawssibly

@Paceaux @matthras Literally a blind man. As in was unable to see.

@csferrie Sad day reading Astrophysics for Babies today... Just noticed the Ca/carbon typo 😢

@Gokuchan What part do you take issue with: the phones, the Frappuccino or Panda Express? (Also that sucks! Boo on him.)

Got my debit card info stolen. The son of a bitch bought 2 phones with it and... Frappuccino from Starbucks’s and a Panda Express meal. Please at least have some standards! 🤮🤮🤮

@michaeltemkin 🤣🤣🤣

STFU @DevinNunes

@LaurenBerson Get a Buncha Farmers stick. It’s a little miracle worker at getting spills out!

Yesterday I had an unfortunate incident at a SEPHORA, accidentally spilling foundation all over my coat. When it wouldn’t come out, my husband (the scientist) looked at the ingredients and noted that RUST was a prominent ingredient in my foundation. 🤦🏾‍♀️ Time for CLEAN makeup!