Jay Revis

BREAKING: Kansas Senate GOP Leader Gene Suellentrop was arrested, booked into Shawnee County jail early today, jail records show. Story TK #ksleg

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1/ There will be no update today. At 8:30 am this morning, state police came into my house and took all my hardware and tech. They were serving a warrant on my computer after DOH filed a complaint. They pointed a gun in my face. They pointed guns at my kids..

Myq's silly query was: why do we think it's weird to sign text messages when sometimes, we don't know who a text is from but we all always sign our emails even though it's usually much clearer who an email is from?

@anyataylorjoy should win all of the trophies for The Queen's Gambit. Fantastic!

@tedcruz Any medication that the FDA determines is safe enough should be available over the counter. Politicians and lawyers should have nothing to do with that decision. It isn't a political issue, it's a medical science issue.

I agree. Perhaps, in addition to the legislation we are already working on together to ban Members of Congress from becoming lobbyists, we can team up here as well. A simple, clean bill making birth control available over the counter. Interested?

You can hear "Brainstorm" or "Green Needle" based on whichever one you think about. Pure black magic. We're well past 'Yanny' and 'Laurel'!

I'm becoming a huge fan of @allen_stone after seeing him on idol. He seems like such a genuine positive guy.

Just saw that @EmoPhilips is joining @alyankovic on his new tour! That's going to be awesome! Hope you guys come to Tampa!

If your prosthetic ear doesn't match your skin tone, it doesn't matter how convincing your toupee is. #FakePahlaniukQuotes

A tack hammer is for hammering tacks. A drywall hammer is for hammering drywall. What's a ball-peen hammer for?

If your job requires a contract, re-sign and resign are opposites.

Boogers grow from bad ideas that leak from your brain. If you have booger problems, you should get your head right.

The hardest problem of mathematics is how many bananas to buy based on current color, consume rate, and when they will be too gross to eat.

Chipotle should just market E. Coli as a super macho sauce to the jerks who eat the pure capsacin at Firehouse and watch Man vs. Food.

I have zero interest in a Guns N Roses reunion, and I'm the king of schmaltz and nostalgia. This has bad idea stamped across its forehead.

You know why Trump says those things? He needs the spotlight. He's a Kardashian. And when you look like Trump, this is your sex tape.

Sometimes my 2 year old babbles with such intensity I expect her to turn into an anime superhero.

Scritti Politti is to Milli Vanilli as Kajagoogoo is to Chumbawamba.

I'm not falling for it. I've been fooled too many times. #BackToTheFuture #McLie