Jeff Boortz

@NFarzan twitter.com/theonion/statu…

@pmorelli @noahmp I don't

@noahmp You know, ever since I made vp, I’ve become so much funnier! Everyone laughs at my jokes now.

Being really funny (without distracting too much!) is an under-appreciated professional skill for team building.

Wheels up SFO-PHX #BusinessTrip

@JavelinaTexMex yeah Matt!

@pmorelli If you can't think of another excuse to go to Venice, this is your ace in the hole!

Looks like the cat is out of the bag! More info to follow soon. bit.ly/ZOakiF

High water in Hunt, TX.

Happy to trade the demise of my bracket for the Stanford win!

When flying United, you have to keep your expectations low... Lower! Nope, still disappointed.

I think this is better to retweet than stupid Oscars photos.

Super Bowl prep phase 2: 26 lbs of pork shoulder roast, rubbed with two different spice recipes

Broccoli >> broccoli rabe

Super Bowl prep phase 1: homemade BBQ sauce