Jeff

Breaking News! Greg is running for Governor of Canada

i'm speechless

@greg16676935420 can I have the gum?

67 likes and I will open these Pokemon cards

@greg16676935420 That's ridiculous. They could have waited for you to finish before entering

My greatest fear finally happened while in the handicap stall

@greg16676935420 Isn't that the same thing?

Do you call this a gyro or a gyro?

Hey @greg16676935420 will you be running during the government shut down?

@FBIDirectorKash @FBI I missed this tweet. Can I join tomorrow?

IT professionals: the @FBI needs you Join today fbijobs.gov

@greg16676935420 i'd eat it just to avoid skin cancer

Just because you can doesn’t mean you should

@greg16676935420 you should probably tell him you were just kiddin around

Got him!

@BrendanCarrFCC Mr. Car, it’s time to cancel Small Wonder and Gillian’s Island. Thank you

I want to thank Nexstar for doing the right thing. Local broadcasters have an obligation to serve the public interest. While this may be an unprecedented decision, it is important for broadcasters to push back on Disney programming that they determine falls short of community values. I hope that other broadcasters follow Nexstar’s lead.

Holy shit!

@AGPamBondi Attorney Bonnie, if I hated @greg16676935420 nuts so much that I stabbed them, would that be considered a crime?

Hate speech that crosses the line into threats of violence is NOT protected by the First Amendment. It’s a crime. For far too long, we’ve watched the radical left normalize threats, call for assassinations, and cheer on political violence. That era is over. Under 18 U.S.C. § 875(c), it is a federal crime to transmit “any communication containing any threat to kidnap any person or any threat to injure the person of another.” Likewise, 18 U.S.C. § 876 and 18 U.S.C. § 115 make it a felony to threaten public officials, members of Congress, or their families. You cannot call for someone’s murder. You cannot swat a Member of Congress. You cannot dox a conservative family and think it will be brushed off as “free speech.” These acts are punishable crimes, and every single threat will be met with the full force of the law. Free speech protects ideas, debate, even dissent but it does NOT and will NEVER protect violence. It is clear this violent rhetoric is designed to silence others from voicing conservative ideals. We will never be silenced. Not for our families, not for our freedoms, and never for Charlie. His legacy will not be erased by fear or intimidation.

@greg16676935420 @AGPamBondi Greg, just because it's nuts doesn't mean you can stab it

@AGPamBondi What if I say something like “I hate water chestnuts in fact I hate them so much that if I see one on my plate I’ll stab it with a knife and throw it away” Is that a crime?

@greg16676935420 this has been done!

Invention Idea: a toaster with a glass side so you can see how toasted your toast is while you’re toasting it

@greg16676935420 I'm sorry, boobie. Have some hot chicken soup and ret

I’m sick

@greg16676935420 not necessarily. I shot a few people by mistake because I had to sneeze, and I happened to have my hand on the trigger

This might be the stupidest thing that has ever been said on live television

@greg16676935420 First look at the Apple batteries

The new iPhone has been leaked and will take AA batteries Finally won’t have to worry about carrying a charger around everywhere

@greg16676935420 False! Newfoundland has to have less people than Wyoming

Absolutely mind blowing

Breaking News!! I’m listening to the @sternshow live and Howard Stern has been fired. The new show runner is @Andy of the @BravoTV network.

@greg16676935420 They do offer this. You have to get insurance for this service

Insurance companies should be required to send you a nice present every year you don’t use the insurance

@greg16676935420 @Kalshi i'd assume so unless you happen to work for the government

@Kalshi If the government shuts down do I still have to pay taxes?

BREAKING: Odds of a government shutdown rise to 50%