Jerwin Saria

It is true that as you get older, leaving the house starts to feel tiring. I will be flying abroad in a few days and staying there for quite a while, but now that it is getting closer, I am starting to feel lazy about it.

I never really saw myself as a leader since I have always preferred working on my own and avoiding too many engagements. But this week alone, I ended up leading at least five. 🥲

You don't stop graffiti by removing graffiti; you stop graffiti by not being evil. Israel's strategy has been for 80 years to forcefully bury the signal (e.g. bullying Athenians to remove the graffiti or firing U.S. tech workers and professors for comments). It's not working any more.

Daily, I am reminded of how much I did not know.

I have been noticing this weird pattern when I read before bed and fall asleep, my brain just keeps the story going. Like I am dreaming but also still “reading” the book in my head. Wild.

I meant to prep for another trip, but instead I spent the whole day bed‑rotting and doomscrolling.

Then it sank in that the last time I saw them was fifteen years ago. And somehow, I still thought of myself as the youngest in our old team. But time has moved. We are not getting any younger.

I came across a Facebook photo of a former colleague with her whole family. Her children, who were still kids back then, are now grown adults with partners of their own. It hit me harder than I expected. In my head, they were still those little ones.

I pray for someone with whom I can share deep conversations. About life, the good and the bad, and everything in between. Someone who would not leave me when things get uncomfortable.

There are days when you just want to scream with all your heart. And today is one of those days.

I am so used to reading on my Kindle that I unconsciously tapped a word in a physical book, expecting the definition to pop up, only to realize it is not a Kindle.