Jerry Lock

I saw Van Gogh’s “Starry Night” hanging in a trailer I went in today, but I couldn’t get up the nerve to ask if it was the original or a print.

Welcome to X, formerly known as Twitter, where we still call it Twitter. We’ve been expecting you.

@Footinit Still time to send flowers. Or a fern, that way the family can keep it when they throw all the flowers away.

Just received this. Quite a blow. I hadn’t heard he was ill.

@FBGreatMoments Is this the one when Cam Newton was dressed funny and gave weird answers at the postgame press conference or was that a different game?

When the Falcons ended the Carolina Panthers perfect season in 2015, dropping them to 14-1.

@Super70sSports @IronballsMcGinT I remember watching this live and it was totally unexpected. I thought it was over as soon as it started with Gabe’s standing start.

Greatest racing performances of the 70s: 1. Secretariat at the 1973 Belmont 2. Gabe Kaplan at the 1976 Battle of the Network Stars I may have the order wrong.

@sciencegirl Because I harbor no animosity towards pesky rabbits.

Guys, what’s stopping you having a moustache like this

@Strangeland_Elf I was shamed away from drinking Zimas, which is very refreshing adult beverage on hot days.

Performative manliness in the form of what you drink has got to be one of the most silly forms of performative manliness.

@Bob_Janke Society is now divided between flute/anti-flute factions. Pick a side.

See? I really like Jethro Tull but this is about the seventh time I've seen an unprovoked tweet about someone playing a flute. What the hell is going on

@Jesse_Brenneman I’m going to go to Chick-fil-A and order a ribeye. The staff is going to be so stunned.

Hm.

@velodus @ChudsOfTikTok He left it all out there on the court.

They're calling it the most 2026 headline of all time

I’m sweet because I’m packed in light syrup.

Chuck Norris shall arise from the grave behind the wheel of his Lone Wolf McQuade Dodge Ramcharger truck.

@HeartlandSignal Just great, another purely subjective test that police can abuse

Tennessee State Sen. Janice Bowling (R-Tullahoma) abruptly bows out of questioning on her vague bill to revoke commercial driver's licenses of non-English-speaking truck drivers. BOWLING: "And I'm assuming you're a no on this legislation, and I would appreciate it if we could stop the questioning because the questions are all going to be answered the same. SEN. JEFF @yarbro (D): "I've never been in a situation where we're moving for question when we're still trying to get, I'm really trying to get basic information about this legislation, because I think it is pretty complicated."

The Grim Reaper came for Chuck Norris, and Chuck Norris kicked his ass and took his job.

I grew up knowing one day when I ordered my first pizza I’d have to demand they hold the anchovies because they apparently were standard on every pie.

@Bob_Janke @cpsemple Exactly the kind of billboard a Bigfoot would pay for just before coming out of the woods and going public

Quick everybody look busy

Some of you never had to program a VCR and it shows.

If you sarcastically answer to a sarcastic question, are they mutually neutralised

television had me growing up believing there would be a lot more unattended pies on open windowsills