jo

Dawn dish soap series

i cant believe sabrina and madonna sang like a prayer from glee

Guess I won’t be heading to the cottage after all—but it was worth a shot! What a wonderful evening supporting @LGBTCenterNYC 💕

if the artemis astronauts don't throw out the first pitch at an astros game this season what are we even doing

i don’t get people that are anti medication. i will pop a pill for everything. why would i suffer if i could just take a pill and fix it? science is for ME! and drug interactions don’t exist in my world because i’m pure of heart. i’m no big pharma shill but i am a beneficiary

Hey nevermind!

Quinn Hughes it seems I’ve grown quite fond of you tho there are no sexual urges or desires you come to me as a long lost friend whom I once picked apples with in papa’s orchard

“i’m moving in silence” couldn’t be me im going clomp clomp clomp fe fi fo fum

Petition for the NHL to start letting players film confessionals in the penalty box like it’s The Real Housewives

how do I audition to be the mascot for the @DallasStars bc I swear I could take Victor to Gritty levels of fame

Woke Elvis: woah mama I mean they

Hinge telling me my balding ex is my most compatible ok who at Hinge Corporate is pranking me

@GovernorAnne @DallasZoo please open earlier, I’d be here every day before work if y’all didn’t open at 9!!!!!

Being a zoo member and needing to be at the zoo by 8 so I can get my hot girl walk in and be back at my desk by 9 has quite literally single-handedly changed my life. Today I woke up at 6:30. Naturally. Like without an alarm or anything. 45 more minutes to Zoo Time, folks

“loser like me” was originally written and composed by mozart but he gave it to the glee cast as it was too emotional for him to perform

me at 1am

I may be single, but at least I don’t have to Venmo my husband for 1/2 the mortgage and forget that it’s posted publicly

madame morrible, flip it around, wicked witch

Bruh. Dont tell me "no iPad at the Thanksgiving table" and then act shocked when I'm cranky