GUDAH JOEL

@WehliyeMohamed Huyu anafikiria ndege ni hizi matatu za kayole.

Why is Aircraft fuel stored in the wings? Wapi Aircraft Engineers!

@georgediano Plates started flying like they had wings, glasses began early retirement, and electronics started seeing their ancestors. It was no longer a home, it was a battlefield. And just when you think it couldn’t get worse, madam escalated things with threats.

Her name is Ann Kioko, and as you can see, daughter of Agrippina is breathing fire like a dragon. So Ann travels to the U.S with the dream of pursuing nursing. Gibson Nyakundi, a single man with a good heart & a very healthy makagare decides to host her. As expected “we are just roommates” slowly upgraded to horizontal engineering manenos. Nyakundi began supplying high-voltage electricity without an iota of blackouts. But remember, according to them, it was still just friendship with no strings attached. A Purely academic collaboration. Months later, Nyakundi meets Abebo Nyama mbichi, a yellow yellow damsel from Pennsylvania. Our boy decides it’s time to settle down with one of our colonizers. So he calls Ann for a serious meeting & politely informs her that the management has decided to transition into a family setup. She should Kindly make arrangements to relocate. That’s when everything went sege mnege for our boy. Ann basically said utajua hujui. After months of uninterrupted electricity supply, she felt like Nyakundi was being unfair to her. Before Nyakundi could even finish his sentence, the house turned into Gaza. Plates started flying like they had wings, glasses began early retirement, and electronics started seeing their ancestors. It was no longer a home, it was a battlefield. And just when you think it couldn’t get worse, madam escalated things with threats. She took a knife & charged towards Nyakundi, hapo ndio our boy aliona hapa, nikuhoru muno muno muno. Nyakundi, now fighting for both his life and whatever furniture was still breathing, alitoka Kihuti Moja kwa Moja hadi stesheen to report the matter to authorities. But Ann is a sharp girl, She activated escape mode immediately. Before the authorities caught up with her, she was already on a flight back to Kenya like a VIP evacuation mission. Now she’s back home, living her best life like nothing happened. While somewhere in the U.S., Nyakundi is probably sitting on a plastic chair, staring at empty walls, wondering how no strings attached turned into Sayuni's trials. Fear woman oooh!!

@KyaloIntel The best buses

Zile basi mrefu za Kayole Southpole, Northpole na Maryanne zishafunga kazi. Zitarudi tena jioni rush hour. Na ujue hizi zinabebanga watu kama two thate squad moja. Akienda taoni arudi amelipa loan ya probox. Ukizipata zinakuanga always na watu. Alafu usidhani ati ju gari yako ni KDW utaziacha. Pale Jogoo road unaonanga tu kisubmarine kimekupita na kikaenda buana. Watu wanajaanga mpaka hapa kwa dere. Kuna siku nimeskia duraiva amesema " kastamaa weka gear namba faiv hapo" kastamaa akaweka rivas, karibu twende sayun. Hizi ata ukiwa na 20 utapanda. Lakini kuna siku zinakulianga 100 kila mtu. Dec utazipata zikienda western. Strong murarùs those ones.

@kijana_misa Try taking ugali that is milled with that engine bwana utapenda.

Nimekuwa nikiona watu wakienda na mahindi zao kisiagi nadhania labda ni pesa ya kununua packed one hawana. Leo ndo nimeulizia bei ya kilo ya mahindi and the amount they use kusiagiwa nikapata is just the same na kubuy packet ya duka. I don't know why you people like kwenda kisiagi then.

@itskipronoh Wewe ndio ulibebwa pale donholm.

Commercial activists have been trying to push for protests on Tuesday, but the response they are getting from Kenyans is not favorable to them. Kenyans are not ready to take to the streets; they are tired of being used. Tomorrow, Nairobi and other cities will be business as usual.

@ledamalekina Rironi- Mau summit road is constructer by a loan. Mnatuona tunakaa matter-core.

@ledamalekina You have explained it very well, we collect the levies from petrol to aid the construction of major roads in Kenya but from the Auditor General this roadS are not built by our own fundS they are borrowed money form IMF, WOLD BANK, EXIM BANK ADB, The current road being hyped the.

I know it hurts a lot, but the truth is : Fuel isn’t “free money.” Cheaper fuel means less levy revenue for roads. Kenya has 164,967 km of roads, 15.1% paved (24,868 km); Uganda has 146,000 km, 4.4% paved (6,466 km); Tanzania has 181,000 km, 8% paved (15,000 km). Kenya uses a fuel/roads levy, and cheaper fuel still means less road funding unless the gap is covered elsewhere. The choice is simple: lower taxes and cheaper fuel with slower road development, or higher levies and stronger road expansion. The opposition should stop turning every fuel conversation into cheap politics and blaming Ruto for everything.

@archiemwas Best matatu ni zile za Runda, kitusuru, Kileleshwa,Karen

We should be given the choice to choose between a noisy bus and a quiet one. Aki hakuna mtu anataka kuskiza konshens na dancehall at 8AM ama 5PM at full volume but tunavumia. Si mtupee sacco moja yenye haiweki deafening music.

@CaptKigen Your master told us he had a way to reduce the price of fuel back in 2022 to 100. The reason we have him power on August 2022. Can he do the same now since he has the power.

During Uhuru's time I once bought a liter of petrol at kshs 450 ....there was no war

@citizentvkenya 😂

President Ruto to travel to Italy next week. Plans to secure Ksh.1B for upgrading Nyamira County hospital

@kilundeezy 😁😁😁😁

Wanasema watu waliwaweka memes za umbwa 😂😂😂😂

@KelvinMwan51341 @generali_osumo Talanta was in the pipeline to be constructed the former regime didn't execute the constitution.

@generali_osumo Also tell me talanta stadia and bomas how was this two project financed and the two project was not in the budget,, not everything should be in the budget so that it can take off

William Ruto in Nyamira County today has PROMISED the following projects; • 500M - Nyamira University College • 300M Nyamira KMTC hostels, 900M • Stadium, 1B upgrade of Nyamira • Hospital, 70M Ikonge Modern Market • 300M Ikonge SGR Station • 700 M for various roads in the county He also spoke about; • 9B affordable housing project • 2B modern markets across the Gusii region • 500M TVET hostels • 200 Million 5 labs and 20 classrooms in KMTC Nyamira among others. We thank him for all these projects that he has given to the people of Nyamira. Though, I have been perusing through the 2025/2026 budget and I can't see any of these projects including those that William Ruto has commissioned to start like the Gusii Stadium and the Nyamira University! My question is, if NONE of these projects are in the budget, where exactly are they financed from?

@moneyacademyKE China if not wrong built skyscrapers in a certain place for people to live in but no one settled in currently it's in ruins.

Kenya plans to build more expressways in a bid to reduce congestion as KeNHA rolls out a national master plan beyond the Nairobi Expressway. So far, Kenya has only one operational expressway.

@wambuijoan2024 Things are not adding up.

Hawa watu waliendaga wapi? Wamepunguza kelele mbona? Eloi!

@WilliamsRuto Is this part of the supplementary budget you signed recently.....ama ni kupayuka tu.

Broke ground for the construction of the KSh1 billion, 14,000-seater Gusii Stadium, featuring a FIFA standard pitch and an eight-lane track, set for completion in April 2027.

@kerubo_hillary Leave alone Neptune Pluto.

What if there are people living in Neptune but they have no idea of other planets existing

@NationAfrica The road costed 55 million a kilometer.

Is the Ngong–Suswa Road really complete? Here is what NMG's Ndubi Moturi found on the ground

@Josh001J SHA has not disbursed this amount since last October. How do they expect the hospital to run.

BreakingUnconfirmed: The SHA comprehensive cover for teachers and other civil servant is no longer there. Kwa sasa ukienda hospitali SHA itakulipia only 1200-2500. 2500 ni ya level 4 hospitals. I need a civil servant who's been in a hospital lately and faced this challenge. Teacher's strike loading!

@felashio @sholard_mancity Huyu bado anakaa Kwa bed sitter. Mind very shallow.

@sholard_mancity Artemis never went anywhere...these are just props from a movie studio

While the Artemis splashes down, remember this: The batteries. The minerals. The raw materials powering this mission: many came from Africa. Lithium. Cobalt. Rare earths. Yet Africa has no serious space program. Not even rockets to launch our own satellites. Africa has the resources. Africa has the brains. Africa has the youngest population. What is lacking is urgency. Africa must rise.

@sholard_mancity Uganda has launched it's satellite.