John

I need to teach my facial expression to ignore my inside voice!

Nothing makes you lose weight like your wedding day. Except your divorce.

@SarahSevans2000 You are not following me.

Holy moly! I just noticed I have been unfollowed from some of y’all. Am I still following you? Are you still following me?

@darrelltalksfi That man is my fucking hero!

My wife’s uncle passed away earlier this year. Made $200k+ the majority of his career. But when he passed, he had $50k in credit card debt, and no investments. You can’t out earn bad spending habits.

@DieselBABE20 Yes.

What is your preference ?

@KaylaChowShow Lucky Jordache Members Only Yes, I’m old!

Name a fashion brand that was popular when you were in high school.

@girl_gone3 They have become the best part of my day!

@Oceanbreeze473 Mine just ended after 42 years. I’ll let you know.

After 30 years of marriage, can you start over ?

Never confuse “being needed” with “being loved”.

@IllyNOTLilly Tell me you were raised by Gen X TV commercials without telling me you were raised by Gen X TV commercials.

Time to make the donuts 🍩

@jrfree2023 I just filed for a divorce after 42 years. I’m feeling your pain!

I have filed for divorce and it’s terrifying. 15 yrs and starting all over.

@ThexyBeatht_2 You said a mouth full right there sister! I’m too old for those games.

I will no longer show up emotionally for people who don’t show up for me. Period!

@Irma_Spikeymama I might have to put that on a shirt! That way I can attract my people.

@Gina06170708 @FedericoHeuer You do realize that is not the world we live in? It’s sad!

Treat everyone with courtesy, respect and kindness, not because they are nice, but because you are... 𝑯𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒂 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒅𝒂𝒚 🌹🩵

@Rae_Doherty_93 I have to get on a plane tomorrow morning. I want to make sure you’re not on it.

So yesterday I took a chunk out of my finger on a grater, today I’ve ripped my jeans and scratched myself on a window sill outside work 🙃

@PontistGirl Get married.

Anti bucket list. What's something you will never do again? Go camping on my own.

@Sabrina420 Insert a witty bunch of words here? Sounds like something my ex said right before moving to Bali with a fire juggler.

@PontistGirl I don’t know what kind of mind I have, but it’s been stuck on 13 years old for the last 46 years. Being a man is exhausting.

@EVA24011 It seems like you have men applying for the job already. Here are my qualifications: I’m a chef, I’m very clean, do laundry daily, very organized, will completely listen about your day and I will give you sex when you need it.

They say that behind every good man is a great woman. Wanna swap positions?

@lyssasphere That’s a hard one to answer. I’ve always lived by a simple rule, you have the right to do whatever you want, so long as you don’t infringe on anyone else’s right to do the same. But, you not getting a vaccine causes a virus to spread, so that breaks my rule.

Do you have a right to peer pressure someone into getting a vaccine?

@girl_gone3 It’s amazing how we can conquer so much in our lives, but yet a good night sleep is so elusive.