Jon Boyes

@CapnYappin @RooferSteve21 @nypost Ta daaaa! en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Platform_…

@RooferSteve21 @nypost How the fuck are they going to do that

83-year-old veteran randomly shoved onto NYC subway tracks dies from injuries, illegal migrant charged with murder trib.al/jSRje4o

@SeeDeeMcLeod @WestminsterWAG Almost certainly the volume at which the conversation is made. The person in the restaurant raises their voice because it's a natural thing to do into a distant mic & subsequently sets their FaceTime volume too loud. Real life convos have lots of volume dynamics, these don't.

@WestminsterWAG How is it any different from talking to another person sitting at the same table?

Why do people in restaurants think it’s fine to have loud conversations on FaceTime? It’s incredibly rude and intrusive. Just enjoy your lunch. And let me enjoy mine without having to hear from your auntie in America.

@call_cole_cfc @Ryanair Quad parade ain't happening, they've only got three left to lose now...

@Ryanair Fuck me I love this company 😭😭😂😂 Any flights to London for the dates of their quad parade so I can cause havoc ?

finally celebrating something

@MarieTidball @Nigel_Farage @reformparty_uk Spare us the fake outrage. When Dear Leader demeans his office on a weekly basis, turning PMQs into a pre-scripted farce what's the point of any opposition MPs being in the chamber? Reform had the balls to walk out. That's the contempt your party deserves.

I’m absolutely livid. @Nigel_Farage and his @reformparty_uk MPs just walked out during my question to the PM about keeping snooker in Sheffield and getting a tram-train extension to Stocksbridge. Farage and Reform don’t care about constituencies or communities like mine.

@AndreaMcal85106 @KieraDiss More chance of Spurs winning the Champions League this year than that bike being legitimately registered to the rider's home address. They're thick, but not that thick.

@KieraDiss Their reg plate on full display. IF the bikes actually belong to these thugs, they should be easily traced

ANOTHER DAY IN LAWLESS LONDON Bike thieves attempted to steal this man’s superbike and thought they were in the clear until he came running out and knocked them off it. Brazen lawlessness in broad daylight in our capital.

@DeanoFate @ForgeFatherInc @Rothmus Mid 40s those arteries fed on saturated fat junk food for a lifetime are going to start fighting back big time...

@ForgeFatherInc @Rothmus Eating trash is going to shorten that life anyway so…

@KarlTurnerMP After a couple of years of Rachel and Ed's meddling 'change' is all I've got left when I look in my bank account Karl. Absolute clusterfuck of a Government.

The dog ate my homework defence won’t wash. Will it? We came to office promising change. #WhatsappGate

@WelshLabour You'd have to be certified to vote for Welsh Labour with your record. That or an idiot, or indeed, both.

A vote for Welsh Labour this May is a vote for: £4bn to build new hospitals in Wales and same-day mental health support.

@rt_gale99 @Fatbaldbloke1 Haha 😂

@jonboyes @Fatbaldbloke1 "The gentleman may be full of eastern promise, but this government makes promises it can keep"

Can you replace the egr cooler in a 2022 Citroen Dispatch 2.0 blue hdi without taking the front bumper off?

@iangold20837405 @MichaelCGlasper IIRC he used to catalogue gags to analyse the actual mechanics of the joke so he could assemble his own at will using proven formulas. I'm sure I saw him talking about this in a documentary.

@MichaelCGlasper Aww, they could have repaired the joke book and not read the jokes aloud. Monkhouse had collected the jokes all together arranged in various categories.

Honestly, what a load of bollocks. BBC News - TV's Repair Shop rejects 'inappropriate' Bob Monkhouse joke book bbc.co.uk/news/articles/…

@Cackalackyman @danielcohen9kbw @WilmotsWay I'm kind of in that camp too, especially after the Forest game but never say never. I guess it is going to come down to which sort of personality arrives and whether they can respond. Who knows?

@jonboyes @danielcohen9kbw @WilmotsWay I honestly can't see this team winning a game. Our only chance of staying up is for West Ham to suffer maybe half of the injuries we've had and lose every game

Spurs do not play again until April 12 now. That means they will not have won a Premier League match in a staggering 105 days by the time the game with Sunderland kicks off.

@Cackalackyman @danielcohen9kbw @WilmotsWay Confidence is not the right word... 😂 I think our squad (or what's still functional) can stay up as long as we get a manager/coach that can motivate/organise. Think Mourinho/Conte/Pep etc. Won't get them obvs, but along those lines of getting them playing for each other again.

@jonboyes @danielcohen9kbw @WilmotsWay Are you saying there's a name out there who'd give you confidence we win?

@danielcohen9kbw @WilmotsWay Depends who comes in now Igor has gone...

@WilmotsWay Any confidence we get a win at Sunderland?!? I’d say it’s 105 days and counting…

This is the most satisfying news you’ll hear today ! Do you remember when a group of boys, strangers to each other, formed a human chain to save a dog from fast flowing water? Today, local authorities unveiled a “Unity Statue” at the same place to celebrate human unity.

@Deltic1944 @exRAF_Al @RAF_Luton 😂

@jonboyes @exRAF_Al @RAF_Luton Photography by a Canberra!

F-117 stealth fighters arrive at RAF Fairford.

@progrocksongs The one on the vinyl release.... I've forgotten its name, maybe @burningshednews can help? 😉

Today marks the 21st anniversary of the release of 𝗗𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗣𝗼𝗿𝗰𝘂𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗧𝗿𝗲𝗲’s eighth studio album and one of their most acclaimed records. - What is your favorite track from the album?

Gabriel and Saliba both pull out of international duty due to *injuries* 🧐 both seemed perfectly fine less than 24 hours ago. This Arsenal cheating is getting out of hand!