Jonathan Heys

@Ankaman616 Where does he live again?

A small, sad man.

@Ankaman616 Equally impressive was Dorgu being able to get the shot off!

Filthy with it. Morning Reds.

@LegacySiu Falcao?

Guess the player Level: Hardest

@lauriewhitwell He must be absolutely dog shit in training, it’s the only explanation

Kobbie Mainoo to seek loan in January amid deep frustrations over game time under Ruben Amorim. But #MUFC expected to only make decision after AFCON. Amorim: “You love Kobbie. But that doesn’t mean I need to put Kobbie (on) when I feel I shouldn’t.” ⬇️ nytimes.com/athletic/68647…

@AndyMitten 5,937

Three wins on the bounce for MUFC, beating BHA 4-2. Tense finish but Mbuemo and Cunha key again. Casemiro top, too. Big game, big win, big week. MUFC up to 4th - for now. Cheers to everyone who bought UWS. Digital version out midnight.

@StretfordEndx First player to get the United curse BEFORE signing for United

Manchester United were going to sign Baleba for 100m... Let that sink in.

@WayneSBarton Rooney v Newcastle… sat in the Stretford end, remember him just bollocking the ref and basically taking his anger out on the ball! What a volley

What’s the best United goal you’ve ever seen live?

@ronaldobrown_98 Don’t you worry… we will completely ruin him

Yeah, he's too good to fail.

@carthy_m @dharnishiqbal That last sentence pretty much sums it up - I mean, we’re really shit now so we’ll be Championship shit without him

@jonnyheys @dharnishiqbal He’s nearly 31 and he’s been with you for ages so that £100m would be a big swing for you PSR wise… but you’ll be a massive shit show without him.

Like genuinely ‘YES COME ON GET IN £100m’ Ok? But you already have one of the best players in the world who played EVERY. SINGLE. GAME. This guy is the best player on the team, never once complained about the utter shit show of a club it became and you wanna sell him? Wow

@nqatpod A 6 word speech! I’m not sure the crowd or anyone would have appreciated that!

@jonnyheys I really couldn't have been clearer

Nice speech but apologies are tiresome and performative at this stage What we actually want is reasons for failure and a path forward Not expecting that in a final day speech but it's the only thing that actually matters

@nqatpod Just seen Dharnish tweet the same thing… oh dear 🫣

Pro tip. Don't do any research or prep for the Bilbao game. It'll leave you convince that United are gonna get properly fucked. Time for Ruben to earn his coin.

@ronaldobrown_98 They don’t have a game at the weekend 😳 imagine that kind of rest!

Wait… 2 of Atletico Bilbao’s best players are injured?

@Hayles_101 I don’t think Matty Cash is the answer, Villa could swap him for Rashford though

I've absolutely had enough tonight, whatever happens. Hojlund, Garnacho, Onana. I don't care. Cash in and give others a chance to perform. Even academy promotions. Two underperforming seasons in a row and you're out. That's the rule. Then everyone knows where they stand.

@ronaldobrown_98 OK - Zirkzee is better in the 10, as you know but I can see you’ve thought… “who else do I play there!”

@jonnyheys what i'd pick

vs Lyon (A)

@ronaldobrown_98 Sucking dick for crack?🤔

I always say the prems improved quality wise throughout the league and then I watch games like this (Chelsea vs Tottenham) and I’m like…

@nqatpod I quite like him

Do wonder whether Josh Zirkzee would do better (and win over some fans) if he ran, jumped, moved or even had a shot now and then. Just throwing it out there.

@ronaldobrown_98 Decision making should hopefully be the next improvement step

Zirkzee has started to improve physically with each passing game recently.