Tom Jay

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Tom Jay

Tom Jay

@joppajay

Katılım Temmuz 2014
159 Takip Edilen36 Takipçiler
LBC
LBC@LBC·
As soon as I heard the news, I quit my job!' Caller Frankie tells @ShelaghFogarty that he's resigned to avoid paying taxes to support asylum seekers.
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Tom Jay
Tom Jay@joppajay·
@larryandpaul God bless the United States of Larry and Paul 🫡
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Harry Yorke
Harry Yorke@HarryYorke1·
I've obtained the Robert Jenrick media plan, found by Team Badenoch and the pretext for his sacking It's very fun: refers to Jenrick as the 'new sheriff in town' and the 'the biggest defection story Reform has ever had' (Team Jenrick say it was written for him, not by him)
Harry Yorke tweet media
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Tom Jay
Tom Jay@joppajay·
@volcaholic1 Wow! Thats nearly 2.3m per hour if my maths is right
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Volcaholic 🌋
Volcaholic 🌋@volcaholic1·
🐝 New bee parasite spreading around the world could impact billions. Beekeepers fear the ripple effects may be felt by the billions of people around the world who rely on honey bee-pollinated plants. independent.co.uk/news/science/p…
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Tom Jay
Tom Jay@joppajay·
@MichaelTakeMP Maybe hide in Buntys reshaped cave until you can purchase some moth repellent
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Sir Michael Take CBE
Sir Michael Take CBE@MichaelTakeMP·
I’m back from my trip to Turkey after having had a few (ahem) procedures. Only one problem. I seem to be attracting millions of bloody moths. 😡
Sir Michael Take CBE tweet media
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Massimo
Massimo@Rainmaker1973·
If you could name the first city on Mars, what would you name it?
Massimo tweet media
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Bill Scott
Bill Scott@BillSco747·
@MichaelTakeMP What about Zia Yusuf and Niggle Forage. We all thought that was a match made in heaven too.
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Sir Michael Take CBE
Sir Michael Take CBE@MichaelTakeMP·
Elon Musk & Donald Trump’s bitter feud. It reminds me of when Paul McCartney split with John Lennon & left the Bay City Rollers. When Judas broke up with Jesus When Pliers left Chaka Demus We need Elon & Trump to get back together again. They are our last hope for world peace. 😔
Sir Michael Take CBE tweet media
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Peter Stefanovic
Peter Stefanovic@PeterStefanovi2·
Brexit's disastrous impact on the NHS led to 1,485 extra deaths per year, according to a new academic study. Researchers say after 2016 leave vote, EU nurses left & were replaced by less experienced or skilled staff, which had knock-on effect for patients independent.co.uk/news/uk/politi…
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Tom Jay
Tom Jay@joppajay·
@johnsweeneyroar Truss meets queen… RIP the queen Vance meets pope…. 🧐 Maga love a conspiracy theory
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John Sweeney
John Sweeney@johnsweeneyroar·
The Pope has died. RIP
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Sir Michael Take CBE
Sir Michael Take CBE@MichaelTakeMP·
Prof. JRR Tolkien-illiterate dick Prof. Marie Curie-useless Prof. Albert Einstein-bloody thick Prof. Sir Issac Newton-no idea Prof. Sir Alexander Fleming-twat None of them as clever or as good at golf as Donald Trump. 🇺🇸
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Tom Jay
Tom Jay@joppajay·
@DaveThroup Herefordshire a couple of mins ago. 10s exposure
Tom Jay tweet media
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Dave Throup
Dave Throup@DaveThroup·
Back in the game! It’s a rollercoaster
Dave Throup tweet media
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Sir Michael Take CBE
Sir Michael Take CBE@MichaelTakeMP·
Look who’s running for parliament? Darren Grimes! His head is huge & must be full of brains & citrus fruit. Here’s his manifesto: -Everything MUST be white & British including Uber drivers, Deliveroo drivers, students, food, foreigners & socks -Erm -Bring back t’good old days. 🇬🇧
Sir Michael Take CBE tweet media
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Tom Jay
Tom Jay@joppajay·
@larryandpaul ⛔️ BREAKING: The Frog that Ejaculated Donuts is sold out in my local Waterstones
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Larry & Paul
Larry & Paul@larryandpaul·
⛔️ BREAKING: Yet Another Celeb Writes Lazy Children's Book. 👇🏻 Please watch, like and share this important update using the hashtag #BrokenNews.
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Tom Jay
Tom Jay@joppajay·
@volcaholic1 Not now uknown Congolese disease with exceptionally high fatality rate
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Volcaholic 🌋
Volcaholic 🌋@volcaholic1·
An unknown disease outbreak in Équateur Province, Democratic Republic of the Congo, has resulted in 431 cases and 53 deaths, with cases rising rapidly. Ebola and Marburg have been ruled out, raising concerns about a severe infectious or toxic agent. The disease progresses quickly, with nearly half of the deaths occurring within 48 hours, and has an exceptionally high fatality rate. Authorities are investigating as the crisis poses a major public health threat.
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