Jordan Flory

Jeep owners will literally eat a bug off the ground and say “It’s a Jeep thing you wouldn’t understand.”

The Texans bandwagoning rn is crazy YOUR NOT REAL FANS

War… war never changes.

Morning fog got me feeling like a silent hill protagonist.

Watching the Chiefs downward spiral feels exactly like the first time I ever had Chicken Alfredo

Movies that can only be watched on a 2004 Chevrolet Tahoe's built-in DVD player

I really thought I’d be dealing with the Bermuda Triangle a lot more as an adult.

Kindness is free

Using whatever software they used for this show to end the 100 humans vs 1 gorilla debate.

99% certain I just saw someone hit the crack pipe in the HEB parking lot.

If you don’t know what you want then don’t waste other peoples time.

Great catch from Antonio Brown, too bad it wasn’t in the script.

Dallas mavericks must be smoking the highest quality fent on the market.

Kissing my mirror into 2025 cause I know I only got me.

@netflix please fix your dogshit servers I’m trying to see @jakepaul get knocked back into 2003

@simplemancub I knew you had something to do with it

@jordanflory I can give your 60lbs back if you want I made it into soap

Losing 60lbs was great and all but now I sound like Mr Krabs when I walk

You could not comprehend how good it felt playing halo 3 on this as a kid in 2008

@RepMTG You ever get tired of looking like a dipshit on national television?

America RN