Juliet Tierney

Sorry but where’s the energy government had for fugging NAPSTER when it comes to AI???

In the last year I’ve become a person who lets their phone die. I leave the house at 18%. I get on a plane at 42%. I carry a charger in my hand. What’s become of me?

Having AA adages one notes app swipe away from an Aspire Botox discount code is probably more common in 2026 than I want to believe.

If I see the phrase “success metric” one more time….

“Yah well I have one thousand cds” - my husband bragging in the year of our lord 2025

The strongest skill set that I have is writing very funny and engaging texts and teams messages. It’s really such a shame that’s not a career.

I personally believe every single marketer that is responsible for marketing to the United States gen pop should be required to DRIVE (not fly, drive) through a minimum of 10 states before they produce a single piece of strategic work.

How we used to talk about New England winters being “brutal,” we must now shift to talking about New England SUMMERS being brutal.

Muting the group chat is not enough. I need to be excommunicated.

It’s 12:24 in New York City and I’m sitting in a hotel lobby waiting for my husband and a man just greeted the front desk guy with an enthusiastic, “good morning!!”

It is the great tragedy of my lifetime how desperately I need my job because it is my most generous comedic muse.

Sometimes when I’m silently sobbing on the Amtrak I wonder how the person sitting next to me feels. Like do they wish they could move? Cuz same, bro. I wish I could move away from MYSELF.

Every city needs a bridge!

This is all I have to say to the Taylor Swift critics:

Why do we call them ads and not ‘mercials’? Pronounced “mer-shuls.”

My new favorite insult is “I bet you support the TikTok ban.”

In my personal opinion, the real key to happiness is growing out your hair and getting invisilign. But maybe that’s just me.

I love nothing more than when people gatekeep MUSIC. like o rly? ur the only 1 who likes music? how unique!

@FreePeople ur customer service is an utter joke?? My order has been lost in transit since Nov 22, u cancelled an item that is now BACK IN STOCK, & i have reached out to customer service 3 times w only 1 response that said “we’re processing a request to respond to your inquiry??”

If you don’t say “that’s me!!!” when you catch yourself in the background of any pic, we can’t be friends.