Jeff

I could get the electric chair and survive because I'm a bad conductor

And Canada said "hold my Maple Syrup..."

@yegwave We cant fix the potholes in the roads here and she thinks the government will pay for the railroads?... railroads are paid and maintained by the companies who operate on them

BREAKING: Premier Danielle Smith floated the idea of Alberta hosting a future Winter Olympics in her State of the Province address, calling it “planting seeds” and pointing to planned rail, arenas, and resorts as infrastructure that could make a bid financially viable this time 🇨🇦🥇

@Flair3_ Because its not a hate crime if you love doing it

If faggot is a slur why does my tail start wagging when I hear it

Just weak for mean queens when the liquor hits the lips... yay alcohol

@Simon_Ingari Because nowadays people are too emotional and companies dont was a disgruntled employee compromising the integrity of their system. Back in the 1990s people had integrity

Employee sending in 14-day notice 1990s: - Receives send-off perks - Continues to work till last day - Full salary offered - Exit handled with dignity and respect 2026: - Logged out of system immediately - Security alert issued - Salary withheld for 'unknown' reasons - Locked out of office - Team warned to cut communication Why do companies require employees to submit a 14-day notice, but once they do, they are fired immediately or treated as unwanted!

@briangarrett Wait til you get a $100 and find out it smells like maple syrup. Or cocaine. Depends where you get the bill

First time in Canada 🇨🇦 I like the look of their money 💵

@real_lord_miles Highly interested ill buy 5

⚡️⚡️I’m making Hitlers watch. 1488 available units. $10 to reserve one. 1 year production time. High quality pieces. Refundable. Need to gauge interest. Link in comments ⬇️⬇️

Relatable, my family isn't talking to me after this one

No filter just one of those albertan mornings at work where the sunrise lights the sky on fire

Hey Alexa play i think im going to kill myself by Elton John max volume

🔥🚨BREAKING: Annika Irmler has set the Guinness World record for removing the most table tennis balls from cocktail glasses with the tongue in one minute, she was able remove a record breaking 27 balls with her tongue in just 60 seconds.

@MrBeast This dude gonna start a hunger games in real life

Sunday at noon Eastern time I’m doing a massive livestream on the MrBeast YouTube channel! It will all make sense after you see tomorrows video 🙏🏻

shawty talking about ‘I see a future together’ like I am not going to blow my head off

@oelma__ Someone profiting hundreds off a property complaining about something that cost $15 to fix?

Had a call from a tenant to say that the microwave dish spontaneously smashed whilst in the microwave. Does this happen..?

@CNviolations "Isreal did nothing wrong"

Let's hear it

@mymixtapez I heard this guy snitches on gangsters so idk how hes alive after 2 jail sentences. I hate my algorithm right now

6ix9ine is set to be released from prison tomorrow 🚨🔓

@krisster8 None but I pay for them all. I need a head count on liberal unemployment to declare as dependents on my tax return

Which Liberal program do you receive ?

@deezynutz69 Call that a double rainbow

Just saw a rainbow cyber truck . So gay

@deezynutz69 Most frustrating thing ever. Whats the point of an appointment if im waiting for the walk in client to finish before me

I Actually hate the health care system . I made a blood appointment for 11 am And I’m still waiting? Fucking pakis clogging it up