julia

PUSSY FROM A GIRL WHO JUST PASSED THE BAR LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO

I like that the cryptkeeper does his cryptkeeping mostly off-camera. Crypt maintenance is dull and tedious

I'm going to hold your hand when I say this Hi

not to be romantic or anything but I’d get you a beer if I was up getting myself one

Spoke to the Sun God Ra and he answered my prayer like immediately. They said no one ever prays to them anymore so it was no problem at all. Gave me an extra iced coffee and I had only wished for one

drinking 13 beers is actually good for you if they’re served at a sunny outdoor seating

Mulder opening an email from me with the subject “Choop of cabra” and nothing in the body

unfortunately for me I get Jack Sparrow drunk & not sexy mysterious girl drunk

I will look at you with my big beautiful eyes and ask you if u wanna go daydrinking with me

any minor irritation & i start having inner monologues like in death note

getting drunk texted feels like an angel descended from the heavens to kiss you on the forehead

you should worry if I go quiet all of a sudden. I’m accumulating energy for my spin attack

ancient pitbull: its mr pangea

you have to threaten to stab him every once in a while to keep your heart pure

@FatMarvinJr nah bro ur good that’s just the homie

@juumelo_ He was sitting in my lap. Gay?

watching Lord of the Rings with someone is so intimate I’m saving it for marriage

@edithoredie @max_overload97 girl I’m so sorry do we need to kill him

@juumelo_ @max_overload97 I watched LOTR with a guy once and choked on his dick several times throughout. Turned out to be a loser (bad at communicating) and was a total waste.

@FatMarvinJr were u two 5 feet apart y/n

@juumelo_ I watched fellowship with a friend. Is that gay?

@Dropchicken7 SIXTEEN YEARS is kinda on you though

@juumelo_ We finally watched them together after our 16th wedding anniversary. I have no idea how I let it get to that point.