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"We come from Jabrovia and we don't give a shit...we've got a national debt of 50 squillion pounds and we don't give a monkies"
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John Usher
44.6K posts
John Usher
@jwusher
The whole fleet is lit up in fairy lamps.
J. Fletcher solved my murder. Katılım Ocak 2011
785 Takip Edilen351 Takipçiler
Hitler insists his belief Germany can win the war strengthened - despite his Stalingrad defeat.
John Cross@johncrossmirror
Mikel Arteta insists his belief Arsenal can win title strengthened - despite Man City defeat mirror.co.uk/sport/football…
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Sorry bit late to this because I've been drinking important alcohol in a foreign land.
John Usher@jwusher
Arsenal are a bit Spursy.
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Football commentators should only communicate using none offensive grunts and squeaks.
Actually that's not a bad idea.
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Football reporters should never ever, ever, ever use the words attack, defence, battle or bombing down the wing. There's a war happening in the Ukraine. Check your language. Do much better.
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John Usher retweetledi
Tanguy Destable sounds like the false name you give the police when they catch you sniffing around the leather factory.
Pop Crave@PopCrave
Natalie Portman is pregnant with her third child, her first with partner Tanguy Destable.
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@5goalthriller Bloody hell, didn't realise it was that Flea.
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@MichaelCGlasper have you heard this?open.spotify.com/track/7v6s2kEf…
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Me: I am a 53 year old man, Star Wars is a load of shit these days, I do not care about those old children's films anymore.
Also me: Sigourney Weaver in a X-Wing pilots outfit.
GIF
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@MichaelCGlasper The logic seemed to be, we need someone who understands corruption and is incredibly slimy and can schmooze and flatter. Wait, we have just the man.
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Peter Mandelson though.
Imagine not realising that everything he touches turns to shit, but going ahead with it anyway.
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@DavidPGCSE @sigourneybeaver Does the Scottish Common Party stand outside Greggs drinking Special Brew in their dressing gown?
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Preposterous list for Holyrood elections.
(I'm a postal voter, I'm not cheating 😁. Honestly not even sure I'll bother voting, shower of tossers)
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"We need a futile gesture at this stage."
Pippa Crerar@PippaCrerar
BREAKING: Top foreign office civil servant Sir Olly Robbins is leaving his post. Understand that Keir Starmer and Yvette Cooper have lost confidence in him after he failed to tell PM & No 10 that Peter Mandelson failed security vetting.
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Has the Prime Minister thought about starting a war in the Middle East? Can't hurt.
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John Usher retweetledi
Kim Philby right sort of chap conversation at London club lunch level of vetting.
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@DavidPGCSE First they stop you wanking then they can't stop talking about wanking, real mixed messages.
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Put it away
Samantha Niblett MP@SamanthaNiblet4
Really?! You’re going for a second hit at this? No one is flogging sex toys in parliament @KemiBadenoch - stop being so reductive. Let’s take the shame out of sex, I have cross party support for my backbench debate. Stop tying to use ‘sex toys’ to shame.
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John Usher retweetledi
As long as you are anti-Israel absolutely ANYONE can be a candidate for the Green Party these days even - and I must stress this - even if you pleaded guilty to illegally disposing of waste less than a year ago and ordered by the court to cough up £8,000.
Greg Stone 🔶@gm_stone
Newcastle Green Party standing by their candidate… “Mr Suleman admitted illegally disposing of waste and operating a facility to dispose of waste without an environmental permit in June 2025.
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