Kalen Black

@juliusha36 Only when I think of something that only works as a tweet 😂

@kayqbee You back?!?

Sorry my hair smells like smoke, I went to a campfire 4 months ago.

I have determined that I need to get married because I have recently reached the “I can’t open a single jar in my house” phase of my life

@FBanders @goslingtrain Excuse me he actually rhymes face/waste, hold/soul, chase/waste, hold/soul, never question him unless we are talking about the Departure era which is mostly just embarrassing for us all

@chrisbharrison haven’t seen you all episode, you okay?

Parachute has done it again 👏🏼 new song "Had It All" is out NOW and it's a JAM. Check it out here: ctt.ec/w59Qc+

Last week, we sent 'Young" to some longtime Parachute fans. Here's what they said about it after that first listen. Want your own preview? Text YOUNGPREVIEW to 555888 to hear a clip.

Okay listen @Sodalicious I need you to put a location in the Salt Lake airport because I can’t take liquids through security but how the heck am I supposed to travel without an AK extra dirty???

“I saw it on Facebook or Instagram or wherever kids see memes or whatever these days.” - my little sister. She’s 21. 21 going on 90 apparently.

*Watching The Polar Express* Santa Claus: "The first gift, of CHRISTMAAAAS" *Holds up avocado* All the elves: "Thaaaaanks"

Me (home alone): *locks bathroom door when I shower in case a thief breaks in* Thief: *breaks in through either locked front door or garage* “oh no, I cannot possibly get through this bathroom door how clever of her to lock it”

“REPRESENTATIVE you stupid computer wench” - my dad trying to call insurance

@fireblastdaniel Literally you when we made you go to a football game 😂

@ me next time

in October the mitochondria turns into the frightochondria & becomes the haunted house of the cell

My therapist told me that anxious people have tendency to only explore the scary “what ifs” and challenged me to remember that there is also a flip side. What if you excel? What if it is one of the best experiences of your life? What if it changes you in a beautiful way?

HAPPY 5th BIRTHDAY!!!! We wouldn’t be where we are without any of you or any of our incredible staff! We have laughed, cried, celebrated, met our significant others, made it through a hard day and much more through the drive-thru alone. We love you SodaFam! Here’s to five more!

"Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal."

“Look to the positive. Know that He is watching over you, that He hears your prayers and will answer them, that He loves you and will make that love manifest.” -Gordon B. Hinckley

Sometimes when I’m feeling down, I just take a step back and remember that Kanye released a song whose lyrics just say “Poopidy scoop. Scoop diddy whoop. Whoop di scoop di poop.”

@fireblastdaniel Never give in to that

The vegans are trying to get me to stop eating cheese again