Kelly G

Hey @neimanmarcus just bc I’m someone who buys what she likes regardless of brand or price, doesn’t mean you should have dissed me just bc I walked in wearing old navy. I probably would have bought that cute pair of louboutins if I hadn’t overheard you talking crap about me

I guess I need to say something so I don’t get purged!

I swear #Alexa just told me to have a “happy butthole day”! 🤪

Just wanted to give a big shout out to the staff at @RitzCarlton in #Naples , you are all awesome! #firstdata

Working hard in Naples, FL! #firstdata #chairmanscouncil

Someone nearby is getting their #roof done and it sounds like the world's largest microwave #popcorn bag is being popped!

You think that's bad? I saw Easter displays going up!! RT @AnneWheaton BOOOOOOOO..... pic.twitter.com/rk5UmIqk

It's a man w a beard, mutherfucker! #fingerpuppets img.ly/neoG

Just found out I've been cleaning my garage the same time as @wilw His "hoard" is def cooler than mine

Sent hubby out to get dinner & more tequila. That's what men r for, right?

I can't feel my right hand from peeling 5lbs of apples & can't feel my feet bc of my drink #cheers

In hr 1 of simmering this damned apple butter...and I only have 2 shots of tequila left in the bottle #mysadsadlife

I had no clue who honey boo boo was until this week....life was so much better last week :/

I'll always remember #sallyride

@TheEllenShow Every 60 seconds in America, a minute passes. #classicjokemonday

I'm pathetic! Just had to do satellite search of childhood home to see if fav tree still in front yard. Will my brain let me go 2 sleep yet?

Don't give this James Holmes anymore publicity! It's just going to give others the idea that this is a great way to become famous!!

I find it funny how ppl always blame guns. Has anyone considered that this is what happens when a species overpopulates? There will b more..

My tweets r brought to u today by vodka

@_Snape_ "to make bath time so much fun". ~Ernie (sesame st)