Krystofer hunter

8-7-93 Makisupa into Reba

@AnnaLovesVoting Underestimate me at your peril.

The most normal thing I did today was walk through a burned out house that was the scene of a murder.

@AKBrews I once got mad at my son and thought, that son of a...wait a minute. Now I just call him an asshole

If someone called you a "son of a bitch" in a way intended to insult you, are they bringing your mother into the beef?

Today, when the judge heard the deal I had worked out for my client, they turned to me and said, "Is there enough glaze on this ham for you?" I do like it sweet.

Had to stop myself from telling the cops their lobby smells like reefer bc how would I know what that smells like.

@AKBrews Plenty of people I was in law school with were not humiliated by their own stupidity despite not yet being licensed

It's like people get a law license and lose the ability to be humiliated by their own stupidity.

@halla_dottir @gutekunstlaw @AKBrews The not my pants defense is a classic

@gutekunstlaw @AKBrews lololololol I love how absolutely universal this explanation is. Any defense attorney in any state who has ever represented someone charged with meth has been given this explanation for how meth that absolutely didn’t belong to the client got into his pockets 🫠

@3rdchancelife All my clients and their mamas

Postal mail carrier who opened flap on package to see what was inside while delivering mail was not a government actor, CA5 says, so 4th Am does not apply. "Law enforcement action" was missing b/c intent was to protect kids. Seems wrong to me. 🧵 ca5.uscourts.gov/opinions/pub/2… #N

@NeonPinkKim Yep

@krystoferhunter Because of the prices? Right, though!?

Just me, wandering through the grocery store muttering, "damn!" Over and over.

Just got a call from private lawyer who I have a client in common, asking me if I've met them in jail, if I've prepared them for tomorrow's hearing, and informing me lawyer will be 30 minutes late. Dude, yes, I did my job and the client's only question is where tf are you.

@AKBrews Assholes

Is there a term for people with the clout chasing disease?

If the police violate the right to pray on a football field, can they be sued?

@BadFacts12 The reason so many struggle with evidence is that law professors try to teach evidence through case law, when it is rules-based, not case-based, so you really just need to read and learn the rules

It's bad enough that the birds eat my blueberries, but when they shit blueberry-colored shits on my windshield, it's like they are bowing up at me going, "whatchu gonna do bout it?"

If you are going to smoke weed in your car, wear your seatbelt.