ktchev

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ktchev

ktchev

@ktchev

Mean mugs and shoulder shrugs

Cleveland Katılım Ağustos 2008
147 Takip Edilen77 Takipçiler
ktchev
ktchev@ktchev·
Just stared at two timers on my phone counting down simultaneously but not in sync and I thought maybe Adam Scott would walk in the room.
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ktchev
ktchev@ktchev·
McDonald’s needs to have a mobile app code window. Ezpass lane. TSA precheck lane. Scan my face know my order let’s go
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ktchev
ktchev@ktchev·
Person who asks the McDonald’s employee what their favorite menu item is and then talks about it for 5 min is in front of me rn. It’s gotta be her first time here.
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Verizon News
Verizon News@VerizonNews·
We are aware of an issue impacting service for some customers. Our engineers are engaged and we are working quickly to identify and solve the issue.
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ktchev
ktchev@ktchev·
4yo: look mom this chip looks like a “c” Me: yea it does. What word starts with “c” /k/ /k/ 4yo: cock! Me: well yea….true…
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ktchev
ktchev@ktchev·
@getgo how can a garbage can be out of service?
ktchev tweet media
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ktchev
ktchev@ktchev·
Cheating strategy: only call guys “daddy” in bed so you never use the wrong name in the heat of passion.
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ktchev
ktchev@ktchev·
The one thing I don’t like about him is two things….
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ktchev
ktchev@ktchev·
The next Brecksville Mayor is an easy choice for me. It’s the teenage girl who complimented my hair without provocation. 💁🏻‍♀️
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𝙏𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 𝙂𝙪𝙘𝙘𝙞
𝙏𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 𝙂𝙪𝙘𝙘𝙞@tammy_gucci·
“US intelligence shows Israel not responsible for Gaza hospital bombing” might be the most insanely laughable headline Washington Post has ever written holy shit
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ktchev
ktchev@ktchev·
Last night was my 20yr HS reunion. My friend Lauren couldn’t go, she’s in Napa. My friend Sheena couldn’t go, she’s in Barcelona. I didn’t go because I was in Munich….well….ockotberfest…in parma. I was in parma and I could have gone. But fuck em.
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ktchev
ktchev@ktchev·
Found $5 in the pocket that’s probably from 2003 Warped Tour.
ktchev tweet media
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ktchev
ktchev@ktchev·
Not me standing in my open fridge dipping cold noodles into cold beef stroganoff.
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ktchev
ktchev@ktchev·
How’s allergy season for you? I’m doing great. Just told the pizza shop employee that I want to rub my eye until my eyeball falls out and doesn’t itch anymore. So great.
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ktchev
ktchev@ktchev·
Happy international womans day to the little girl who wakes up with blood in her underwear for the first time. Buckle up kid, it only gets worse. #womensrights #InternationalWomansDay
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ktchev
ktchev@ktchev·
Me, taking a glance at all the things that need put away: “it’s cool I’ll get it tomorrow, I’m a morning person now” My 3yr old throughout the night: “the fuck you are”
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ktchev
ktchev@ktchev·
Insta-stalked a girl that was tagged in a friend’s story. Accidentally hearted a pic. So it’s been nice knowing you. I’m going to go with god now.
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ktchev
ktchev@ktchev·
@BlazerRamon !!! Yes!!! There was a whole slow motion scene of dude climbing up the ladder 🥴
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ktchev
ktchev@ktchev·
No one knows the shelf life of cocaine. Because, well, cocaine.
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Keşfet

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