olisa

@DejiAdesogan Omoo, na another Escobar house be dat..

NDLEA uncovers N5.8billion Loud in Lekki Lagos stash house; busts skuchies factory | ndlea.gov.ng/news/3-persons…

@abdullahayofel Dat ashawo resemble your mother...

“I will do only one term. “I just want the tip.” — Agulu frãud 😂👀

@dammiedammie35 Some of dis our police officers are just so dumb....

Few days after the IGP says all Policemen must have a name tag, a Nigerian police officer without a name tag seen h@rass!ng a young man because he uses 3 phones and saying he doesn’t care if the young man informs the IG of police 💔💔

@channelstv If South Africa reject you again, na to send you go Somalia be dat....

Former Minister of Aviation, Femi Fani-Kayode, has revealed that President Bola Tinubu has approved his redeployment as Nigeria’s Ambassador-Designate to South Africa. Fani-Kayode disclosed this in a statement on Thursday, explaining that the decision followed his request to be reassigned after he was initially nominated for a diplomatic posting to Germany. channelstv.com/2026/05/07/fan…

@ARISEtv Basketmouth...

Peter Obi Needed ADC; ADC Did Not Need Him A man who says he is running away from challenges cannot be trusted with a country facing severe crises. His temperament is incompatible with the demands of Nigeria today. ADC Chieftain, Kenneth Okonkwo

@Iyoaiye_ 🤣🤣 still better than your mother wey no fit point one man say na your papa be dat...son of a thousand fathers

@largestb1 You mean your mother's life 😂

The NDC's Deadline Problem. A Full Breakdown: The NDC (Nigeria Democratic Congress) was only registered on February 5, 2026, via a court order, not because it met all INEC's requirements. INEC Chairman Prof. Joash Amupitan confirmed that the Federal High Court in Lokoja ordered the commission to register NDC, and the commission simply complied with that order. (The Guardian Nigeria). That's the starting point of their trouble. Here are the key deadlines they're up against: 1. Party Primaries Window INEC has informed parties that they are free to fix the dates of their primaries within the approved period of April 23, 2026, to May 30, 2026. (ThisDayLive) That's a tight window, and NDC was barely registered when it opened. 2. Membership Register Submission. The Big One Under Section 77 of the Electoral Act 2026, every political party must maintain a digital membership register and submit it to INEC at least 21 days before any primary, congress, or convention. Only individuals whose names appear in this pre-submitted register are eligible to vote or contest as candidates. (National Network) The final deadline for submission of political parties' registers of members has been extended to May 10, 2026. (ThisDayLive) Miss that, and you can't field any candidate in 2027. The register must contain, for each member: name, sex, date of birth, address, state, local government, ward, polling unit, National Identification Number (NIN), and photograph, in both hard and soft copy. (Technext) Building that digitally from scratch — as a brand new party — in a few months is a mammoth task. 3. No Congresses = No Convention = No Primaries= You can't hold a national convention without first conducting state-level congresses. NDC was registered in February 2026. The party announced it had submitted notices for upcoming congresses and national convention (Legal Nigeria) , but submitting a notice is not the same as completing those processes. State congresses across 36 states + FCT, then a national convention — all requiring 21 days' advance notice to INEC each time - is logistically nearly impossible to complete before the May 30, 2026 primaries deadline 4. The 21-Day Notice Rule A party that fails to submit the membership register within the stipulated time will not be allowed to field candidates for that election. (TheCable) There's no grace period or waiver — the law is clear. The Core Problem in Summary NDC is a brand-new party registered via court order in February 2026. To participate in the 2027 elections, it must: Conduct ward congresses → state congresses → national convention (each with 21-day INEC notice) Build a full digital NIN-linked membership register Submit that register to INEC by May 10, 2026 Conduct primaries before May 30, 2026 That's essentially 4 months to build a nationwide party structure from the ground up and satisfy some of the most stringent electoral compliance requirements Nigeria has ever introduced. As you rightly pointed out — it's an extremely steep hill to climb, and the clock has nearly run out. SPY Nigeria news!

@Bolzy @PeterObi You wey no get anything to lose nko....

@PeterObi You will still lose in 2027. You know it and we know it. I somehow feel that your gullible supporters also know it but refuse to accept the reality.

This morning, in Lagos, I met with the U.S. Consul General, Mr Rick Swart, where we discussed strengthening the bilateral relationship. We focused on promoting credible elections in Nigeria, ensuring they are free from interference, and fostering a space where all political parties, especially opposition parties can thrive, and contribute. We also discussed trade and business opportunities between our countries. Accompanying me to the meeting was Dr Adefolaseye Adebomi Adebayo. The discussion was very productive, and we are hopeful that, moving forward, Nigeria’s elections will be even more credible and transparent. -PO

@HarmlessHQ 200k for what? I will chill good with just a packet of dunhill....

A dinner with Tinubu or N200k

@TJkings01 You carry 6500 do business and you were offered 5.7m and you no take...even drug business no fit give you dat kind proft and you get mind dey talk am...na greediness go k*ll una finish...

I am quitting sport betting forever guys😭😭😭😭, I saw this cashout some days back and am decided to leave the ticket since the remaining games are small odds. I was supposed to win 15 million on the first ticket and 33 million on the second one, that’s how Liverpool spoiled the both tickets. I really expected Liverpool to win even though I am a united fan because of their current position on the table, I’ve deleted all betting apps from my phone, say no to betting guys.

@ArcSadam First ask your mother who your father is...son of a thousand fathers......

Three idi0ts 😂😂😂

@confindence24 If the person wey dey the picture na the man...na lie, he no buy any other house, he chop the 90m finish....

What a wise man 😃 A retired civil servant in Abuja has reportedly sold his family house without informing his wife or children. Months before anyone suspected anything, the original house documents had already been quietly moved out for safekeeping. So when strangers eventually showed up for inspection, it was already too late to reverse the process. This wasn’t an inherited property. It was built from years of sacrifice salary deductions, disciplined living, and time spent in government quarters that were later sold to occupants. But after retirement, things changed. The balance of power in the home shifted. His wife began to control most decisions, and gradually, the children adopted her tone. The man who once provided everything became almost invisible in his own house. At some point, he fell seriously ill. According to him, no one checked on him not even to ask if he had eaten before leaving the house each morning. Around that same period, his entire gratuity was used to fund a family business. It was meant to benefit everyone. It collapsed within a year. That was when the quiet plan began. Not out of anger. Not out of emotion. But in silence. He decided he would rather start life again alone than remain in a home where he felt unwanted. Months later, the house was sold privately for ₦90 million. He bought a smaller house in a quiet suburb for ₦18 million and secured the remaining balance discreetly. Back at home, nothing seemed unusual. No arguments. No tension. Weeks before leaving, he gradually packed his belongings under the pretense of sending clothes to the dry cleaner. Then one day, he left for what he described as a consultancy job. He never returned. The truth only surfaced when the new owner sent people to inspect the property. Panic followed. The same children who hadn’t checked on him while he was away suddenly began calling non-stop, demanding answers. That was when he confirmed it: Yes the house had been sold. By then, nothing could be undone. Attempts were made to trace his new location, but he had already moved carefully… and completely.

@JamiluSufi @iamHSDickson ...and said nothing about kwamkwaso 🤣🤣

It’s a match made in political hell: the Failed Governor meets the Serial Decamper. @iamHSDickson, the man who left Bayelsa in a N130bn debt coma and built a N112bn ghost airport, has finally birthed his "baby", the Nigeria Democratic Congress (NDC). He calls the PDP an "ICU," but the NDC is just a morgue for political carcasses like him who need a new logo to hide their old crimes. @PeterObi, the man who spent 2023 screaming about "destroying the structure of criminality," has just jumped headfirst into one. By flirting with Dickson’s NDC today, Obi has officially become a political nomad, wandering from the graveyard of the @NgLabour into the arms of a man who underdeveloped Bayelsa into oblivion. You claim to be for the people, yet you’re aligning with a professional spoiler like Dickson whose only goal is to fracture the opposition and hand Tinubu 2027 on a silver platter. You didn't move to another structure; you checked into a retirement home for betrayers. Watching the Obidients try to justify an alliance with the Restoration failure is the funniest comedy in Nigeria right now. You’re not fighting the cartel; you’re just applying for a seat in a different branch of the same criminal enterprise. Obi, you’ve decamped so many times your supporters need a GPS to find your principles. And Dickson, forming a party doesn't erase your record, it just gives the EFCC a new address to visit. You aren't saving Nigeria; you’re just rearranging the furniture in a burning house. Facts are Not Stubborn.

@JustKingss I go join army and na for comment section like dis i go dey pick people to wipe koboko 😂😂😂

Gun to your head: Join Nigeria Army or Nigerian Police force, which one are you joining?

@benmurraybruce @elonmusk Thank God i no know wetin be starlink???😂😂😂😂😂

.@elonmusk, For months, I have paid ₦49,000 for my Starlink subscription in Nigeria. Suddenly, and without notice, without consent, and without any change to my plan, I am slammed with a ridiculous charge of ₦215,955. Let’s be clear: this looks like exploitation, not pricing. You do not wake up one morning and multiply a customer’s bill by over 4x with zero communication. That is not business, it is abuse of trust. Are Nigerian customers being taken for granted? Is this a deliberate strategy or a gross failure of your billing system? Either way, it is unacceptable. Reverse this charge immediately and explain yourselves publicly. Silence will only confirm the worst assumptions. cc: @fccpcnigeria @Starlink

@adejare_stephen @InibeheEffiong @oluebubewrites @followlasg @vanguardngrnews @MobilePunch @instablog9ja @PremiumTimesng @DailyPostNGR @channelstv @ARISEtv @Postsubman Son of a thousand fathers...that's what you are...

@InibeheEffiong @oluebubewrites @followlasg @vanguardngrnews @MobilePunch @instablog9ja @PremiumTimesng @DailyPostNGR @channelstv @ARISEtv @Postsubman If the textbook is the problem the parent had, then tell Mary Queen Udoka to relocate to her state and find another textbook for her son. kini gbogbo palapala yi?

CONTROVERSIAL TEXTBOOK: PARENTS OF NURSERY SCHOOL PUPIL PETITIONS LAGOS STATE GOVERNMENT, NERDC We wish to confirm in the public interest, and for the sake of transparency, that we have formally petitioned the @followlasg through the Commissioner for Basic and Secondary Education, against the use of the controversial textbook titled: ENGLISH LANGUAGE FOUNDATION FOR NURSEY SCHOOLS, authored by one Mr. Ayengbe Ebhohimen JB, We have equally petitioned the Nigerian Educational Research and Development Council. The petitions are at the instance of Mrs. Mary Queen Udoka who was targeted by the police and her husband. They bought the book from a school in Ojo, Lagos for their 5-year-old Nursery 2 son. In the petitions, we are demanding that the government should immediately probe the suitability of the book and take necessary regulatory and disciplinary measures to safeguard Nigerian children. We are pleased that the Lagos State Government has swiftly responded by making a preliminary statement to the effect that the controversial textbook was not approved for use by schools in Lagos. In our petitions, we disclosed the name of the particular school where the book was sold to our clients. We have also informed the government that following public outrage, the said school has withdrawn the book from its shelves and taken steps to conceal its complicity. We have provided the Ministry of Basic and Secondary Education and the NERDC with copies of the controversial book to aid the investigations. Our clients are going to cooperate fully with the investigations. People must be held accountable. Thank you.

@OzorNdiOzor Dos g's over chill..dey suppose comot 5 teeths for him mouth first first.....

A Police officer destroyed the driving license of a young driver..

@DrKalu_ Go join the military naa..out of 38,000 slots for south east, na only 117 don apply...they will take you sharp sharp

"I traveled all the way from Lagos to Enugu, risked a night bus for DSS interview. That notice of interview came on Friday for Saturday next day interview. So the only option was a night journey. I finally arrived venue in the morning, went one corner to get changed. One can only imagine the crowd in met, that's for those that managed to attend. After the fulling all righteousness interview they conducted, I heard they took only 5 persons. And guess whose candidates were the five? The governor's candidate The Enugu State DSS directors candidate The three senators' candidates. So, even before the interview, they've already shared the chosen ones to themselves, but still allowed people risk their lives from far and wide. Nigeria is a crime scene. It's a structure of criminality. A country where the poor, the nobody can't dare apply for certain jobs, such country will always have crimes to deal with. It's self induced unsafe society. The system breed criminality. Basically, the people you call leaders, and appear in public with assumed prestige are just packaged thieves. They become personality by rouge corrupt manipulative rigged system, just for themselves and their families." ~Chris Idoko #NigeriaNews #DSS #recruitment #viralpost

@BobMfonmma Have you been drinking???

I really don't know why we have an issue with this beautiful girl. Plus sized women are amazing and Iniabasi Akpabio is a reflection of beauty, an embodiment of an Akwa Ibom woman. The negative comments I'm seeing is uncalled for. A lot of you are dying to have her in your lives. Tone down and appreciate God's creation.

@instablog9ja Why your girlfriend no go leave you as you come resemble grasscutter...

“I love Nigerians, but why do you people run around the world ste@ling people’s girlfriends? Why don’t you like your girls?”- South African Man questions