LarBar 💋

"I have $73 in my bank account!" sounded a lot cooler when I was 12.

Punch has a girlfriend and I’m still single …

Nephilim are real … #proof #notaconspiracytheory

Nell day haha 💅🏼

The fact that I can’t know the location of anyone I know at any given time on my phone is simply unacceptable to me

This morning’s view 🏔️

Church 🙏🏼⛪️

Went to church today for the first time in a long time, and you know what? It felt good! I’m almost out of my lazy girl era … I can feel it 🙏🏼💕

but babe you love being gaslit

life pro tip: one time someone said my own joke louder than me and everyone laughed but as my act of revenge i started saying the joke was kind of problematic n everyone started agreeing and turned on the joke thief

@cheygoulet Love you forever girly pop!

My wife dragged me out the house for food and drinks 🙂

theres times where bugs bunny should just remove himself from the situation idk why he must antagonize

Please don’t tell me no. Find an alternative answer and make it a yes.

Signed up for my company's 401k but I'm nervous cuz I've never ran that far before

the lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day

Deer population is controlled by releasing wolves into an area. All problems should be solved that way. Too much pollution? Release wolves in factories. Dislike Congress? Wolves. Wanna lose weight? That's right, wolves.

one time in middle school i dated a girl for 4 days and when she broke up with me she posted on facebook “sometimes your knight in shining armor is really just a loser in tinfoil” and to this day that the sickest burn i’ve ever gotten

are we sure the first few seconds in a tornado isn’t fun? like the first few spins

ME: In the Middle Ages people would sometimes mix stale urine with wood ash to wash and whiten their clothes. From this repulsive confluence of waste products, something pure is brought about. Just like love. Priest: the bride has also chosen to write her own vows.

[backstage at a concert] hey guys you mind signing this? [next day at car dealership] rascal flatts is your cosigner?

We just don't uh-oh spaghettio enough as a society anymore.