Radon Cheeseburger

Ahhhh the humble bar of soap. An object once cherished by society, now wholly obsolete

@JosiahWilk77079 I’m the cheeseburger guy round here, Wilky

@lemonademan99 Sorry ass tweet ngl. At least you tried

Announcing that my girlfriend dumped me on LinkedIn

@MysterioSheldon Not quite sure why this tweet is picking up traction, but fires me up that people are relating to it

@lemonademan99 8/8

3rd straight day of showing up to work with nothing to do. I scroll twitter, gamble, take an hour lunch, dream about going on a float trip with my pals, go home. Not the worst summer

@MysterioSheldon Show her all your mirror selfies where you hit the vacuum

First first date in 5 years tonight. Do I: 1. Bring up Benjamin Netanyahu 2. Ask about her thoughts of the Jews 3. Bring up Benjamin Netanyahu Let me know

Okay it’s pretty funny that nobody can hit the t-mobile sponsor ball #homerunderby

Figure it out Netflix. WE WANT TO SEE THE GUY SWING THE BAT

@TheScrapNews This dude is always talking about social media views. Just answer the question bro

Weird moment; Dana White leaves the press conference, but then comes back to say this about Conor McGregor 🤨 #UFC329

@HunnidDollaSoda Thanks brotha

I asked this guy at the bar what time it was, when he showed me the clock on his phone his background was a missing child poster from the 90s. I said “thanks brotha” and walked away

@travellady620 @VitalVegas I believe you’re thinking of the popular movie Ocean’s 13

@VitalVegas They usually classify them as models/servers. That is how they get around it.

Avoid the rabbit hole of why casinos can make cocktail server jobs female-only. They can’t, at least not legally. Federal and Nevada law prohibit sex discrimination in hiring. The narrow “BFOQ” exception doesn’t apply because gender isn’t essential to serving drinks. (1/3)

@RoworthJack If you’re not thinking about the Eggcellent challenge once a day, wyd?

Very sad news today. It’s really put a downer on my day. Who remembers Regular Show when they had to eat that massive omelette and had her playing in the background? Wow, that takes me back. Absolutely devastated by today’s news.

Calling my friend Wyatt: Wi-Gon Jinn

Fuck yes

Sucks that Tom Brady is so cringe now

I’m glad fifa put the game of the tournament at 11am central time

How come the myth busters never tested the myth about biting your own finger off is as easy as biting a carrot

Most necessary hydration break in US World Cup history

Shoutout Ron. Hard day for the kid

@MrBeast 2,153,696

First person to reply with the exact number of pennies in this room win $10,000

Gf thinks it’s weird that I’m excited as hell to drink beers outside all day and watch sports…