Thomas White

Should have a good Kevin Hart roast-related joke ready within the next six or eight weeks

@whizzerchips No we need to respect the plane

@len0killer Does this include fighting the pilot

You should be allowed to fight somebody on a plane every five years

@SouthwestAir Thank you for legroom upgrade seat next to the Bengali Toucher

@MikeBirnigglia Cmon

@len0killer Cozy ass nigga

Fabricated image

[Stomach already hurting bad as fuck from the clam chowder I had 20 minutes ago] I’ll have the salted butterscotch cappuccino iced please

Guy in documentary: There was nobody doing it like Wu Tang. People lost their fucking minds [Song fading in] Hundreds of hours of homework, staring at statues,

@WhiteBabyFac You can’t be talking like that, White Baby Factory.

Dads used to have 4 to 5 kids. Now kids have 4 to 5 dads. Climate change is crazy.

This must be Portland the way I need mutual AIDS 🤷‍♂️ 🔥

@dru_montana47 You’re too kind

Thomas has a joke about the movie cars that I think about 5 times a week.. bro is a genius

@TugboyFresh Should arrive just in time for summer

@len0killer I lowkey forgot I ordered one

If you haven’t received a tracking number for your shirt yet I’m delivering it on foot. Sorry for delay, bad at most things as it turns out.

@TeegDoug I’ll do a show pretty much anywhere if I can lose $100 or less

@len0killer You should consider doing a show in Birmingham, Alabama: "The Pittsburgh of the South"

I’ll be in Pennsylvania for a few minutes next month

Finally hitting 100k in 2026

@RageDisease Nah I’m the Dog 2 Watch

@len0killer Ever played Watchdogs 2…

I couldn’t learn to code because it wasn’t player shit

@wisepissmage No they were much worse believe it or not

@len0killer Are these the shorts?

Stepping into senior year like: