Matt Byrne

@Jaynee_R I don't get it.

@Jaynee_R I'm back!

The war on motorists is over! Here's a poem to celebrate this famous victory.

@implausibleblog The war on motorists is over! I wrote a poem to celebrate this famous victory.

Rishi Sunak, "The best taxt cut that I can deliver for the British people is to halve inflation." Laura Kuenssberg, "Inflation is not a tax" Rishi Sunak, "Inflation is a tax"

This little fella landed on my desk. I know what you're thinking: what the heck is it? It's a lesser thorn-tipped longhorn beetle, of course! #officewildlife #beetle #insect #beetlesofinstagram @ My Desk instagram.com/p/COQqiT0nzaV/…

We’ve introduced a new mobile giving service. Text DERBYSAMS to 70460 for a one-off donation of £10. You will be charged your mobile provider’s standard network rate for one text message plus your donation value of £10. Full terms and conditions at bit.ly/2WYGA2v

@beginourdescent I sense that you've been there yourself.

@lifenotes_uk Were you running out of batter?

I have discovered a new species of pancake. #ShroveTuesday #PancakeDay #PancakeTuesday

Now extinct, sadly.

@jameelajamil The longer you leave it, the better it will eventually taste.

Bed time. Leaving You all with the best meme I’ve seen in ages.

@thatchamdad Won't work. She has no authority.

We should send Jackie Weaver instead 😉

Sending a Royal as a PR stunt to do the government’s dirty work. And in 2 years’ time Johnson will look straight at the camera and say “we did everything we could” 🤨

It’s that simple.

When your first year of life is 2020, everything is a sanitization station

It makes me so angry when policitians fail to answer questions. How stupid do they think we are? But it's been happening for years and we (collectively) still vote them back in. Shameful. #matthancock #FreeSchoolMeals @MattHancock

@LouiseMensch @SacredSHS I say we impeach this guy.

He seems nice. H/T @SacredSHS

I'm gradually improving my Lichess puzzle rating. Next stop 2000! #chess #lichess @lichess #QueensGambit

Just posted a photo @ Calke Abbey instagram.com/p/CJwViPBnG5d/…

@BorisJohnson_MP feel free to RT if you like it.

In case Boris's announcement wasn't clear, I've paraphrased his advice in verse. You're welcome! #lockdown #BorisJohnson #tennis #schoolclosures #Tier5

@whatjamietweets I actually got everything on the list tonight, except for custard creams. My daughter won't be happy.

@lifenotes_uk Hopefully you can get all you need! I've noticed over the last few weeks things started to become low or offsale for a while. UHT milk and toilet roll! The usual suspects.

Back to work tomorrow after a few days off. I just know it's going to be super busy again now we're in lockdown. Expecting empty shelves! #Supermarkets