brisn

youtube series where boomers who make outrageous claims like finding a place to rent in the city for 500$ have to actually do it and (if it exists) live there for a month

woke up in a cold sweat last night because i had an important question i needed answers to at 3am

The numbers 10-99 are called "the double digits". Memorize them. You don't want to be the guy at the party who's never heard of 57

Neighbors wife said make yourself at home so I took some of their dog's tramadol

I thought I was the April Fool at the gas station this morning but then they put me and the Machine on the real life news

student nurse flinched and blushed when she saw i wasnt a 60 year old like everyone else in the waiting room #hesstillgotit

Expanding my horizons

I hope my email finds your email and they fall in love

why did they eat dead babies, i said as The Head of The Dead Baby Eating Brigade

Piers Morgan has exploded

@meatloafyyy yippiee

Rode my bike 2 my friend's house to have steaks lfg

@dreiiacht1 no next thursday

i was born on thursday

parents arent home tonight yk what that means !! millipede on the table 😳

@gh0ulz_ everyone wants me Hurt and In Pain

@littlefeIIa we’re doing this to you later

Me Normal: My favorite song is Enemy by Imagine Dragons My Twisted Fantasy: My favorite song is Heathens by Twenty One Pilots….

@gh0ulz_ it was a weird evening okay i thought it was fun y

@littlefeIIa Brian.

@isaacturnersong YUPP

Who up catching flack

my uncle, dentist, said theyre making a new tooth this year