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Lizard

@lizmurph12

Self-diagnosed hypochondriac

Chicago || Athens Katılım Ocak 2012
428 Takip Edilen419 Takipçiler
Lizard
Lizard@lizmurph12·
This is my legacy
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Lizard@lizmurph12·
One week of the sun setting before 5pm
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Lizard@lizmurph12·
Sorry but I think if you're responsible for an entire left turn lane missing a light, you should go to jail
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Lizard@lizmurph12·
What am I supposed to do when I have a random shift off in the middle of working nights like
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Lizard@lizmurph12·
I can only describe the crowd waiting for this Friday night Frontier flight to Vegas as pleasantly unhinged
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Sublime 🧷
Sublime 🧷@Tavietavie·
I miss mall culture. Being able to get an outfit the day of an event and some auntie Anne's! Smh we used to be a country.
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Lizard@lizmurph12·
Apologies to the babies
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Lizard@lizmurph12·
Man I love pediatrics. Yes, yes they did.
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Lizard@lizmurph12·
Really making a name for myself here (accidentally throwing away expensive sharps)
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Ryan Teague Beckwith
Ryan Teague Beckwith@ryanbeckwith·
come find me on the new social network called "sitting near me at work" where I will give you one-liners and responses to the news when you are concentrating on a spreadsheet
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Lizard@lizmurph12·
"Sometimes I feel like I'm in my own personal limousine" - on taking the CTA bus
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james tom
james tom@jestom·
imagine counting tweets. can u count grains of sand on the beach? stars in the sky?
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Matthew Sweet
Matthew Sweet@DrMatthewSweet·
Elon Musk is like a Scooby Doo villain who dresses up as a ghost to scare everyone away from the theme park but forgets that his business is theme parks
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Lizard@lizmurph12·
Trying to explain to my dog that we can't go on a long walk because of the aqi
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Lizard@lizmurph12·
With each pager I acquire I move further back in time
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Lizard@lizmurph12·
Receiving hospital pagers today* "How do we charge it?" "It takes 1 AA battery"
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Washington State Dept. of Natural Resources
To avoid straining your eyes at work, use the 20-20-20 rule: Every 20 minutes, go for a 20-minute hike and spend the next 20 years in the woods.
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