lettuce

Lowkey would not know if I had the Diarrhea parasite or not

my boyfriend just put a hotdog bun in the toaster and was really defeated when it came out in literal pieces

i just ate an entire avocado in bed in complete darkness with no silverware and no i will not elaborate

me going to pee after i got all comfy in my bed:

to be fair i knew them all at very separate times in my life and they all became friends way after the fact somehow. and we're all good buddies (except the one i'd kill with a rock)

walking into a nightmare (my boyfriend's friends house) and it's my ex boyfriend, a dude i briefly dated, two talking stages, and a guy who had an unreciprocated crush on me that I would actually kill with a rock given the chance

this life was not meant for me! :3

i left A FUCKING LIGHT ON... like he'd ever come home.

brought to you by the egg i pickled four days ago and cried over because it was so yummy but i've got to let the rest get More Pickely™️

it's hard to have an eating disorder bc people think that means you don't like food,,, my favorite food is lobster, short of also pickled eggs. i will eat ANYTHING and love it, but also I will just not eat anything at all

Being autistic means being asked “are you high? Have you taken something?” When completely sober and then no one noticing when you’re actually high/drunk because it makes you act normal

@mightybee__ @niambification end of HS senior year being cancelled= no endings, no lasting connection w/ peers plus poorer families not being able to accommodate online college (drop a few thousand on good wifi and a computer setup PLUS regular tuition). many of my peers are stunted, it's hard to blame them

@niambification How could they ?? If they went from high school age to post grad age with non of the socialization and skill building that community and in person networking provides? I think yall forgetting ts took a chunk of some people’s formative years

would yall jump me if I said it’s also bc they did not get real jobs after the pandemic?

after losing my mind for 4 hours i’ve decided nothing is really that serious

@HeckYeBud if you're 21+ a decent smoke shop/liquor store that's on the smaller side. i made my own schedule, was the only employee in store (great for introverts), and watched more movies/played more games than i ever had in my life. plus I only got like 5-10 customers on a BUSY day lmao

Now that I’m unemployed does anyone have recommendations for jobs that pay 20 dollars an hour for you to do nothing and be on your phone

i know it's time to get my passport bc my wisdom teeth are coming and they're hurty. chat what country outside of the us offers the best dental i'm thinking mexico

suicidal at 12 was crazy i should've been a tree

lmfao i told my bf that mitch mcconnell is brain dead and he starts going "oh i know he's so stupid and-" no babe like ACTUALLY physically brain dead

i'm ambidextrous so this doesn't work, my dumb ass brain has to imagine my auntie's living room from 20 years ago when my grandma first explained to me that the couch was on the left. then I have to focus on orienting myself as to where I am in position of that living room.

they need to make naengmyeon packs 1/4 of the size why is it literally enough noodles PER SERVING to feed a village. and its terrible as leftovers.

my dog's tiny foot is sticking out from under the blanket DIRECTLY in my face and it smells like fritos and i am actually feeling aggressive i would shoot myself in the head rn if she told me too