Greg: Participation Trophy Husband

My spirit animal is a college mascot in a slam dunk contest that flops face first after missing the rim completely.

@MeatSauce1 @7thavenuepizza My favorite thing about this pizza is that it's available!

What a deal!! @7thavenuepizza

@Substituted_ Everyone says Chuckles is the third best medicine.

Yeah uhhhh lemme get some chuckles

@DanaWessel Also, he was an unreal head and shoulders better athlete than anyone in the town. It wasn’t close even then and he was 17.

One of the greatest US Soccer players of all time is a product of the trailer parks of Nacogdoches, Texas.

@DanaWessel Very aware. I was a church youth pastor intern and he was in high school in the youth group. I’m that old…

@DanaWessel Nacogdoches, Texas- university town, the “oldest down in Texas”. Small town, racist under currents, what’s not to like?

My two best friends and I are doing a 3v3 bracket challenge where the winner determines what city we all meet up in this summer for a trip. What would be the funniest city I could pick if I win?

@PhilMackey @DexsTweets QB Camp Battle: Nine vs 5’9”

@clarklab This isn’t an observation, it’s a revelation! I’m a real boy….. I promise.

The new red flag giveaway in AI tweets is no longer the em dash, it's this phrasing: "That's not a [blank], that's a [more extreme blank]." Once you see it, it's EVERYWHERE. Example: "That's not a software roadmap, that's a recipe for disaster" or "This isn't a bubble, it's a revolution" I'm almost sorry to share this, because I really mean it, once you see it, you'll see it EVERYWHERE.

@Substituted_ Bag art is sick as hell.

These are good as hell

@DanaWessel GDI the whiskey made me say where, not wear. My shining moment in the sun, devastated.

@DanaWessel Same as your car buying situation: where a Karate Gi to assert dominance. Applies to many situations.

I'm a 40-year old man who has lived in Minnesota his whole life and I'm going ice fishing for the first time this weekend in my father-in-law's ice house. Any advice?

@DanaWessel Wear a karate gi to asset dominance.

Test driving a car tomorrow for the first time in over a decade. Is it still the same -- kick the sales person's ass upon first handshake to set the tone? Practical and funny advice appreciated.

@Substituted_ Man… I dunno…

Using mayo on a grilled cheese might be goated

@nacholeber Dunno how you put Brandon Aubrey ahead of Will the Thrill... FG%: Will - 93.1% Aubrey - 88.9% PAT%: Will - 100% Aubrey - 97.7% Season long: Will - 62 yards Aubrey - 64 yards Each kickers' misses only came in kicks over 50 yards as well FYI. Oh I know why - Cowboys.

Voters got it wrong. Eric Wilson and our Special Teams battery all earned a spot

JJ’s hand is likely broken. Vikings need an insurance plan at QB for 2026, but don’t wanna mortgage the future. But still unsure about JJ. *A monkey paw curls* Oh god that’s Aaron Rodgers’ music! Cc: @PhilMackey @DexsTweets

👍

@BrandonOSports @etfinalscore @NETsn_Live @cradsports @dctf Game suspended? When does it finish?

Trevor Golightly 77-yard TD pass to Treston Turner. Arp 49, Edgewood 20, 7:56 left in third quarter. We will enter a 30-minute lightning delay before the PAT. @etfinalscore @NETsn_Live @cradsports @dctf #txhsfb

At the airport walking behind a family Kid: “Dad, you know who built this airport?” Dad: “Who?” Kid: “Construction workers.” Dad:

@Substituted_ I had this unlicensed rap sample using the Oompa Loompa song that absolutely slapped, and I can never have that moment back. They’ve taken everything from us.

Maybe letting virulent racists talk to others online was a mistake. We need to go back to the internet’s intended purpose: making MySpace pages about your favorite band

@Growtheorem It’s 7:50pm Doug!

Good morning, Austin

This isn’t the dunk you think it is…