Bruce.

I had a friend whose roommate had a big German Shepherd. One day she came home from work and saw the dog playing with the neighbor kid’s pet bunny… except the bunny was de@d. She freaked out, cleaned the bunny, blow dried it, and secretly put it back in the cage because she was scared to tell the neighbors her dog kil*ed it. A few hours later, the neighbor’s kid started screaming. Turns out the bunny had already d!ed earlier, and they had buried it. The dog had dug it up and brought it home to play with 😭

@luv1bun Relax, we’re not those kind of guys” has the same energy as “trust me bro".

I’m a female driver. I use the women-only filter, especially at night. Sometimes I pull up… and instead of a woman, there’s a man waiting. Last night, it wasn’t one. It was two. One of them smiled and said, “Relax, we’re not those kind of guys.” I looked at him and said, “And every woman who ended up on the news thought that too.” Silence. Uber lets me cancel those rides without penalty, so I did. As I pulled away, I heard one of them quietly say… “Damn… she’s not wrong.”

@fw_lavish you can’t have a million dollar goal with a one dollar work ethic 😭

You can’t have a million dollar Goal with a one dollar work Ethic .

@quesadaaa_ Bro skipped gratitude and went straight to delusion 😭

The craziest part is him thinking he has a chance with her instead of being happy someone besides his mom found him cute.

@Tactility72 @Toxicwit_ THANK GOD one sensible comment

@luv1mas @Toxicwit_ I agree, I believe the bus driver just got him some jail time.

A bus driver beat the shit of a dude for spitting on him...valid reaction or no ?

@_ybmorant Bro said “wrong battlefield” 😭

It's a military shooter, not a school shooter

@Piicools Finally, AI doing something other than helping brands sound “fun and relatable” 😭

this is what i want to see AI used for, not to create yet another social media auto replier for marketing.

@foundallsaint Bro speedran the “actions have consequences” storyline 😭

Mom send disrespectful son to group home after he smashed her car. The son wouldn’t listen at group home so foster dad put hands on him.😂😂 Did he deserve it??

@Fiances_ Twitter. One bad tweet and suddenly you’re fighting for your life in 4K 😭

Which app gave you the worst memories on social media ??

My older brother and I were helping our uncle move a washer into his basement. Uncle’s at the bottom of the stairs, me and my brother are at the top trying to hold this heavy thing like two underpaid movers. My uncle goes, “Y’all got it?” We confidently say, “Yeah.” The SECOND he moves it, we lose our grip and yell “NOPE.” 😭 This 300 lb man somehow went down two stairs and then basically launched himself the rest of the way like an action movie stuntman protecting that washer with his life. The washer survived. My uncle survived. Me and my brother were crying laughing while contributing absolutely nothing useful.

@ifwCarl damn true

who gaf about cricket

@Wyd_eshuu Twitter philosophers discovering biology again 😭

When a man is horny, his D***k rises When a woman is horny, what happens.???

@trpcharles netflix

Delete one forever

@Piicools So we’re just skipping laws and calling it justice now? got it

tf you mean? we literally just watched him do it?

@theNyx__ Bro speedran consequences in front of law enforcement 😭

dude punches guy infront of police and immediately gets arrested 🔥

@foundallsaint Imagine being this pressed over someone else’s taste…

@Finegalleah1 Posting a normal opinion and suddenly it’s a full-blown courtroom case 😭

What’s an opinion that will have you in this position?

@luv1bun Even wolves are picky now? Humanity really lost the lobby 😭

i Just read somewhere that "wolves" prefer "women over men" because the "smell of testosterone" irritated them😭😭 MALE THING????? 😭