Mark Jones

You'll never believe what the kids from #StrangerThings look like now.

Hey @DeliverooHelp, thanks for emailing me this offer that expired 26 minutes before you sent it.

Is that a ghost? #Brits2026

Cancelled for telling the truth. I stand with Colbert. I stand with Kimmel. #Colbert #Kimmel #FuckTrump

#GRIMUN #MUFC

Ok, so which one of you had Robert Smith on your Olivia Rodrigo bingo card? Did you fuck! #glasto2025 #GlastonburyFestival #Glastonbury

Half empty stadiums will suit Man City. Every match will feel like a home game #FIFACWC

@1stCentral Hi, please tell me why you ask new customers to call you with additional information you overestimate their yearly mileage, change their policy details & charge a £50 admin fee. Then when the customer questions the fee & wants to cancel do you send them an FCA form? @MartinSLewis

Guess what? Tomorrow is Friday! Get your insurance questions out the way so you can enjoy your weekend. We'll be online from 8am, ready to tackle your tweets!

For an extra £3 a month Amazon won’t interrupt the #Oscars with another Bond tribute.

Dear BBC commentators, please stop calling #MUFC’s full back Darlo. His name is not Diogo Darlington. #MUNFUL #FACup

#MUFC well represented on #MOTD today.

‘@RealBobMortimer watching the beer tasting on @SundayBrunchC4

Should have done it last Christmas.

@TheLastLeg “I hope you don’t mind that I put down in the words how wonderful life is while you’re in the world.” #Paralyrics

@TheLastLeg “I’ll keep this world from dragging me down. Gonna stand my ground. And I won’t back down.” #Paralyrics

When me and Pete had Noel Gallagher on for a live phone-in, but just lined up loads of nannas and grandpas #oasis

Watching the Women’s 10,000 meter final and noticed that amongst the finalists there’s a Daniel, Ryan and Keith. JK Rowling must be frothing like fucking Cujo right now. #OlympicGames

Are they running this torch all the way to London in hopes there’s a decent #OpeningCeremony going on when they get there? #Paris2024

Luis Rubiales has got himself a breath mint. #ENGSPA #EURo2024

Legend. #NEDENG

How is ‘Cunts’ not trending? #GeneralElection2024