mac bowman

I am now a Hot Wheels mechanic

@bruhtatoes /enchant Jake 😉

I don’t want the Death Note i want to be able to type Minecraft OP commands into the mystical chat bar and teleport to see my friends /tp Jake Buddies

@BennyP_16 @bruhtatoes

@bruhtatoes I’ll put my vote in for you, this is your year

Haven’t seen anyone claiming 2024 will be their year so I’m throwing my hat in the ring. 2024 is for Jake

Cavemen on tiktok going around asking “gatherer son or hunter daughter?”

My cat Addison you have to stop. Your meow too cute. Your swag too different. Your gotcha too today. they'll kill you #HappyGotchaDayToMyCatAddison

@bruhtatoes How unexpected? Like 20:1 odds or…?

Nothing could’ve prepared me for how prevalent gambling really is. That one was unexpected

I feel like there are a lot of car washes being built recently. I’ve seen Breaking Bad. I know what’s up.

Why are there so many home air filter sizes? Standardize please

Ootd (ogre of the day)

Ah MIT, the “Harvard of Massachusetts” they call it.

@bruhtatoes Please explain

Walkin down the street jarjar style

That’s her officer, that’s the old lady who swallowed a cow (I don't know how she swallowed a cow) She swallowed the cow to catch the dog, She swallowed the dog to catch the cat, She swallowed the cat to catch the bird, She swallowed the bird to catch the spider, She swallowed th

Wanted to flex that my younger brother won in his division at his powerlifting competition this weekend. Total weight lifted was over 1000lbs. Everyone say “Congrats Henry!” (Henry and his coach, pictured below)

@macwithac Thanks for the warning. I’ll be sure to watch them sometime.

Sending random and increasingly romantic tiktoks to @JolKinny

I, too, will give you nothing.

Better analogy: offered your pick of three different cakes; chocolate, strawberry, vanilla. You choose chocolate, like most sane people would. Now, however, the flavors of vanilla and strawberry no longer exist anywhere in the world and never will again.

Garfield was right

Oh that complex geo-political situation that’s been going on for hundreds of years? Yeah, us on the X platform have that solved. No worries, we’ve researched it and we’ve come to a conclusion. And it’s the right conclusion. You’re welcome world.

My render distance must be set to low this morning.

@tacogotbanned It’s a DUI…TTWT Driving Under Influence …That This Was Tobacco

officer if you’d believe it — i was under the impression this was tobacco. it’s my first time.