Melissa Dobson

@elonmusk Really? Holy hell, dude. This is so what you would expect of Elon Musk AI. Cheesy. Precious. Generic.

@Acyn Republican legislators have basically been AWOL for the past year but OK, here’s hoping you get a good showing at the State of the Shitshow tonight.

Speaker Johnson: It’s shameful that they would boycott an address. We don’t do that. Republicans don’t do that. It doesn’t matter if the president is from the opposing party — we don’t skip out. Our constituents want and need us to be here. Every member of this House represents more than 750,000 people. They’re disenfranchised if you’re not sitting in your seat to fulfill the role and responsibility of Congress.

@Kash_Patel You look extremely humbled! And there is no credible evidence that Jeffrey Epstein trafficked women! And you're not a government gangster, you just wrote a book by that title in a paroxysm of Trumpian projection! Yeah, history gonna remember you, dude.

For the very concerned media - yes, I love America and was extremely humbled when my friends, the newly minted Gold Medal winners on Team USA, invited me into the locker room to celebrate this historic moment with the boys- Greatest country on earth and greatest sport on earth. 👊🏼🏒🇺🇸

@CommonSentiment The not-so-singular disconnect for me was the parenthetical. (frigid) would like a word.

Took my (frigid) wife to see Wuthering Heights tonight. Car ride to the theater she put on the Hamilton soundtrack and scrolled through Pinterest the entire time ignoring me. I think I chipped a tooth from clenching my teeth. Walk into the theater lobby and it’s a sea of screaming black teenagers and obese guatemalan women babbling into speakerphone. I buy her some garbage to eat and we go into the theater. Before we sit down she accidentally (?) spills her extra large diet Dr. Pepper on my seat, but the theater is full so I just sit in it. My ass is immediately soaked but I don’t care I just don’t want to move my body anymore I just don’t want my body to function. The guatemalan women are in the theater and they and my wife are all staring at their phones, giving the room a sickly, ambient glow that makes my eyes water and my stomach turn. The movie starts and I mentally check out, thinking of the chubby teenage girl at the concession counter and how thrilling it would be to kidnap her. I let my mind drift away but my wife snaps me out of this fantasy by hacking loudly trying to get a stuck popcorn kernel out of her throat. The guatemalan women sense distress and start nervously gibbering in their gutterspeak. I excuse myself to the bathroom but instead sneak into some kind of cartoon called Goat. I sit in the back and sob softly until a black teenager notices me and screams “ayo dis gay nigga crine!” and the rest of them start jeering and screaming at me so I rush out. I lock eyes with the chubby teenage girl in the lobby and she looks sad and I imagine she’d be okay with me kidnapping her but I just go back and sit next to my wife in the giant puddle of diet Dr. Pepper. The movie finishes. We leave. Wife immediately puts Hamilton soundtrack back on and scrolls Pinterest. We won’t be discussing the film. No, we won’t be discussing anything. Am I Heathcliff? Am I myself? Am I a person? Am I sure I can keep doing this for one second longer? Tomorrow is Friday, but in reality, everyday is Monday.

@PressSec Except the ones he pardons

Democrats want to protect violent criminals. President Trump wants to lock up violent criminals.

My name's Raymond. I'm 73. I work the parking lot at St. Joseph's Hospital. Minimum wage, orange vest, a whistle I barely use. Most people don't even look at me. I'm just the old man waving cars into spaces. But I see everything. Like the black sedan that circled the lot every morning at 6 a.m. for three weeks. Young man driving, grandmother in the passenger seat. Chemotherapy, I figured. He'd drop her at the entrance, then spend 20 minutes hunting for parking, missing her appointments. One morning, I stopped him. "What time tomorrow?" "6:15," he said, confused. "Space A-7 will be empty. I'll save it." He blinked. "You... you can do that?" "I can now," I said. Next morning, I stood in A-7, holding my ground as cars circled angrily. When his sedan pulled up, I moved. He rolled down his window, speechless. "Why?" "Because she needs you in there with her," I said. "Not out here stressing." He cried. Right there in the parking lot. Word spread quietly. A father with a sick baby asked if I could help. A woman visiting her dying husband. I started arriving at 5 a.m., notebook in hand, tracking who needed what. Saved spots became sacred. People stopped honking. They waited. Because they knew someone else was fighting something bigger than traffic. But here's what changed everything, A businessman in a Mercedes screamed at me one morning. "I'm not sick! I need that spot for a meeting!" "Then walk," I said calmly. "That space is for someone whose hands are shaking too hard to grip a steering wheel." He sped off, furious. But a woman behind him got out of her car and hugged me. "My son has leukemia," she sobbed. "Thank you for seeing us." The hospital tried to stop me. "Liability issues," they said. But then families started writing letters. Dozens. "Raymond made the worst days bearable." "He gave us one less thing to break over." Last month, they made it official. "Reserved Parking for Families in Crisis." Ten spots, marked with blue signs. And they asked me to manage it. But the best part? A man I'd helped two years ago, his mother survived, came back. He's a carpenter. Built a small wooden box, mounted it by the reserved spaces. Inside? Prayer cards, tissues, breath mints, and a note, "Take what you need. You're not alone. -Raymond & Friends" People leave things now. Granola bars. Phone chargers. Yesterday, someone left a hand-knitted blanket. I'm 73. I direct traffic in a hospital parking lot. But I've learned this: Healing doesn't just happen in operating rooms. Sometimes it starts in a parking space. When someone says, "I see your crisis. Let me carry this one small piece." So pay attention. At the grocery checkout, the coffee line, wherever you are. Someone's drowning in the little things while fighting the big ones. Hold a door. Save a spot. Carry the weight no one else sees. It's not glamorous. But it's everything." By Raymond

@realDonaldTrump 🤣

COUNTDOWN: 7 Days until the World will witness an unforgettable, behind-the-scenes, look at one of the most important events of our time. MELANIA: TWENTY DAYS TO HISTORY: amazon.com/salp/melaniamo…

@Stanley05014826 @JessicaTarlov Look in the mirror dude.

@JessicaTarlov All you do is complain...how does one go thru life so miserable????

In a span of an hour, Trump says he is suing JP Morgan and imposing large tariffs on Europe until we purchase Greenland. Someone needs to take his phone away.

The safest place to be in the whole world is in the Epstein Files.

@SecWar The American people deserve a medal for having to put up with (for now) this assinine performative bullshit from an utter jackass.

Six weeks ago, Senator Mark Kelly — and five other members of Congress — released a reckless and seditious video that was clearly intended to undermine good order and military discipline. As a retired Navy Captain who is still receiving a military pension, Captain Kelly knows he is still accountable to military justice. And the Department of War — and the American people — expect justice. Therefore, in response to Senator Mark Kelly’s seditious statements — and his pattern of reckless misconduct — the Department of War is taking administrative action against Captain Mark E. Kelly, USN (Ret). The department has initiated retirement grade determination proceedings under 10 U.S.C. § 1370(f), with reduction in his retired grade resulting in a corresponding reduction in retired pay. To ensure this action, the Secretary of War has also issued a formal Letter of Censure, which outlines the totality of Captain (for now) Kelly’s reckless misconduct. This Censure is a necessary process step, and will be placed in Captain Kelly’s official and permanent military personnel file. Captain Kelly has been provided notice of the basis for this action and has thirty days to submit a response. The retirement grade determination process directed by Secretary Hegseth will be completed within forty five days. Captain Kelly’s status as a sitting United States Senator does not exempt him from accountability, and further violations could result in further action. These actions are based on Captain Kelly's public statements from June through December 2025 in which he characterized lawful military operations as illegal and counseled members of the Armed Forces to refuse lawful orders. This conduct was seditious in nature and violated Articles 133 and 134 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice, to which Captain Kelly remains subject as a retired officer receiving pay.

@RepMTG I would welcome you with open arms if you admitted to and pledged to atone for the destructive rhetoric and behavior that has contributed to degrading our American culture over the past decade. Look in the mirror, babe. You birthed the bully. You are that thing.

Breaking the chains from the bully is freeing. It’s also taking hold of real power over one’s self and the future. For me I give full authority to Jesus and I will fight like a lioness for my children’s generation and their children. The rising grassroots movement, totally outside political control, is the unstoppable collision of the right and the left who will fight with fury for America and OUR future and children’s future and our grandchildren’s future. They’ve divided us for far too long and it’s destroyed too much. I refuse to be divided any longer. I refuse to hate my fellow Americans. I love my fellow Americans and I love my country. The old guard is dying, the bully is becoming a lame duck, and real America is rising.

@LauraLoomer @CodyAIFanatic Get out! Really?

@CodyAIFanatic I’m not religious

Rob Reiner was a loser. Naturally, his son was also a loser, and he got addicted to drugs and allegedly murdered his parents. Looks like Rob should’ve spent more time parenting & less time spreading Russia conspiracy hoaxes about President Trump. I stand with President Trump.

Here’s four well known ones for you: Donald Trump. Pete Hegseth. Elon Musk. Boris Johnson.

@rose_k01 Left

Write the First Word You See

@JDVance His advertisers were revolting? As in disgusting? Abhorrent? You guys have the best words.

Jimmy Kimmel wasn’t funny, his ratings were in the toilet, and his advertisers were revolting. Also the bellyaching from the left over “free speech” after the Biden years fools precisely no one.

@JDVance JD Vance Pants on Fire

The Democrats don't care about Epstein. They don’t even care about his victims. That's why they were silent about it for years. The only thing they care about is concocting another fake scandal like Russiagate to smear President Trump with lies. No one is falling for this BS.

@elonmusk Oh well, have at it then, Elon. We've obviously been royally fucked for 250 years.

🎯

@teslaownersSV Trump looks a bit VeXed.

The picture that wins the internet today

From a letter in the Saturday edition of the Wall Street Journal:

Trump, Vance & others either have forgotten or never knew that Zelensky signed a ceasefire agreement with Putin in 2019. Three years later, Putin launched his full-scale invasion. So, signing another ceasefire with no security guarantees feels like suicide for Ukrainians.