MollyMUFC

@mufcytp @caughtoffside Lies

🚨🚨 𝐌𝐀𝐉𝐎𝐑 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆! Xabi Alonso has held talks over becoming the next Manchester United manager. [via @caughtoffside] Reds, be honest — would you take Xabi Alonso over Michael Carrick? 🤔

@ChrisMoyles @BBC

@Skint_Eastwood1 @ChrisMoyles TUT TUT

🚨Chris Moyles Set to Be Cancelled Next After Scott Mills Scandal – Resurfaced Clip Shows Him Offering to Take 15-Year-Old Charlotte Church’s Virginity Chris: “Once when you were young, at 15, I offered to take your virginity.” Charlotte: “A 15-year-old girl? You should be ashamed!”

@piersmorgan 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

BOOOOM! Feed the Gyok and he will score…

@TransferChecker @David_Ornstein 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Spurs have offered a contract to Di Zerbi that will make him one of the highest earning Premier League managers, according to @David_Ornstein. ✍️💰 Imagine if Spurs still go down.😅

@JacobsBen He must be insane 🙄

🚨 BREAKING: Roberto De Zerbi is now close to an agreement with Spurs following a breakthrough in talks. Five-year contract on offer. De Zerbi had told Spurs last week he wanted to wait until summer, but a lucrative long-term deal has made him open to taking the job now. 🤝 @alex_crook

@mufcytp @TheAthleticFC That's a load of shite and you know it

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 JUST IN: Chelsea FC are interested in signing Manchester United midfielder Kobbie Mainoo this summer. [@TheAthleticFC] Palmer plus £50m might just do the deal! 👀

@liamgallagher You're going for a jog??

@samuelluckhurst Bore off

Tonight not the first time #mufc have played too loosely at Bournemouth and lack of measures taken to plug gaps this half have cost them. Maguire's first red card since Solskjaer's last game at Watford.

@Muppetiers Worst game of the season???

Worst game of the season. Performances have been dropping and this is why you can’t ignore those signals.

@bethTmufc Bore offfff

Gotta bring Amad on now

@Muppetiers Bore off

Performances have been declining for weeks and it’s really not surprising. Teams just block the middle and don’t give space in behind and we just haven’t solved it and I’m not sure we can.

@forallcurious Old news

BREAKING🚨: Egyptian pyramids ‘built by advanced civilization’ thousands of years earlier than previously thought─ the three main pyramids of Giza are up to 12,000 years old, which predates the Egyptian era by a millennia.

@bethTmufc 🥱

HUGE WIN ! Sometimes you just have to grind them out. Lammens MOTM🧤

@TheProjectUnity @JustinPetersMin Justin is a retard

@JustinPetersMin Justin thinks aliens can't exist because things in space are so far away from each other that the aliens couldn't make a boom boom rocket fast enough. Justin is unaware of Spacetime Metric Engineering or Traversable Einstein-Rosen Bridges. Justin is a simple thinker.

There are no aliens. Even if there were (and there aren't) they would have no way of getting here. The distances are simply too vast. Far, far too vast. The nearest star outside of our own sun is 4.2 light-years away. No aliens, no matter how clever, will ever be able to travel anywhere near the speed of light. The laws of physics prevent it. To accelerate any mass at all (even a pebble) to anything approaching even 1/3rd the speed of light would take incomprehensibly vast amounts of energy. You need a lot of spaceship (and I mean YUGE) to hold that much energy. So, now you've got a heck of a lot more than a pebble to move. Your energy problem just got infinitely worse. It's impossible folks. ET ain't out there, and even if he was, he ain't dropping by for a visit.

@liamgallagher Got bird shit on ya coat Liam

Think it might be this giving them PTSD

@rodjamesgiggs Bitter boring cunt

😴😴😴 boring cunt this bloke now.

@BarackObama @MichelleObama #Michael

Happy birthday to the woman who lights up every room she walks into. I love you, Miche.

@rioferdy5 Royston of Keane first

Expecting a few apologies from people after this…. Set up perfectly! Get in ❤️ Manchester… Manchester United! #MUFC