Mark Simmerson

watching the turmoil within the government makes me think that Trump was wrong with regards Starmer. He should have said that he is no Clement Atlee. It's deeply depressing

@WG_RumblePants Oh, I dunno. Yorkshire's team looks reasonably good 😇

@mardysim Not sure about that. Team selection looks a bit off to me.

I’m not surprised by the cynical, self-interested political opportunism shown by Wes Streeting and Andy Burnham today, but I still find it depressing.

@NoContextCounty Crawley. I bet 10p that he's been 'hitting it well in the nets' 🙄

Who opens for England first test?

@nickypatterson0 @DefenceHQ @16AirAssltBCT Too remote for helicopters, no ships near enough in a medical emergency. As it's a para, I would expect they've been issued with a float, a packet of Monster Munch and orders to swim east for a couple of weeks. Be right

@DefenceHQ @16AirAssltBCT Serious question- how is he getting home? And assuming boat or helicopter then why didn’t they use that method to deliver?

Strap in: Follow one of our paratroopers from @16AirAssltBCT jumping in to Tristan da Cunha – one of the world’s most remote communities – to deliver vital medical support 🪂

@NoContextCounty Gillespie's 200 red inker?

Where does this from Ryan Hadley rank amongst the all time great night watchman performances?

@_WichitaLineman @NoContextCounty Was that Darren Gough?

@NoContextCounty Can only be bettered by a Night Watchman being out, stumped, second ball for 6.

@RobertJenrick Brown, who saved the UK from disaster whilst you and your banking chums were quite literally betting on the failures and praying for Gordon to bail you out

“Till death do us part…” What a fitting epitaph for Starmer’s premiership. Starmer's big response to Reform vanquishing Labour in towns that have been Labour for 50 or even 100 years? To bring back Gordon Brown. The phone-throwing ghost of Labour past. The man who sold Britain’s gold reserves at $275 per ounce. The price is now $4706 per ounce. Oh well, only a £40 billion mistake. Brown, who abolished the 10p income tax, and whose stealth taxes crushed Middle England. And whose benefits bonanza led to mass scrounging and unemployment. Brown, who raided private pensions, and stuck two fingers up to pensioners by increasing the state pension by a miserly 75p. Brown, who created PFI contracts that we're *still* spending billions on, and will be until 2050! All in all, we’ll have paid around £270 billion for £50 billion worth of infrastructure. Genius. Brown, who spent most of his time as Chancellor machinating against Blair. And whose main advisor as Prime Minister had to resign for plotting to smear the health and sex lives of his political opponents and their wives. Brown, who deregulated the banks, and whose Government gave a knighthood to Fred ‘The Shred’ Goodwin for ‘services to banking.’ Brown, whose borrowing gave us the largest deficit in the G7 when the 2008 crisis hit. And who took our deficit higher than it had ever been in peacetime. Brown, who attacked a lifelong Labour vote as a ‘bigot’ for being concerned with migration. Starmer is doomed. The fact he thinks Gordon Brown is the change people want confirms it. We’re heading for a new Labour leader, someone who'll no doubt be even worse than Starmer. Back Reform to save Britain.

@Nigel_Farage Mr Brown steered the country through the 2008 financial crash and was also the longest serving chancellor of the modern era. He is a serious politician and public servant. The very antithesis of you.

An unpopular Prime Minister who lost a general election is now seen by Starmer as being the saviour. Labour are doomed.

@WG_RumblePants No ball!

There’s something about cricket that gets deeper the older you get. The long days, the familiar faces, the quiet moments between the noise. Whole summers end up tied to certain grounds, certain innings, certain people. It’s never really just been a sport.

@OversLife Bedi was my bowling hero when growing up. Beautiful action, effortless graceful guile. I think the greatest of all the left arm spinners - Wilfred Rhodes - would have approved.

He launched Bishan Singh Bedi for a massive six. So massive… it crashed into the balcony. Next? Bedi fired in the arm ball. Stumps shattered. Message delivered. 🔥

@WG_RumblePants I assume the Surrey Moneybags have hired a few short-term loans for the match 🎣😜

Roll call!!! Who’s watching the County Championship this weekend? Shout out to my fellow Fender’s Tailenders, who are making the pilgrimage to Trent Bridge to see The Irresistible Force (Notts) vs The Immovable Object (Surrey) in a top of the table clash.

@DrHelenFry The Supermarine Spitfire Mark II and the Hawker Hurricane Mark I as equals. Because, in 1940, they and and The Few that flew them, changed the course of history #battleofbritain

@DrHelenFry Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace Where never lark, or even eagle flew— And, while with silent lifting mind I've trod The high untrespassed sanctity of space, Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.

What's your favourite World War Two aircraft?

@alexelliottgolf Done it several times playing off mid-teen handicap. Combination of luck, good play and excellent around the greens. Be calm and putt well

If you've broken 80, leave a comment below to help those who haven't yet...👇

@Nigel_Farage Local elections are about local issues. They have nothing to do with national issues. Saying otherwise is just very silly.

We all saw that Parliament couldn’t get Starmer out. Only a crushing defeat by Reform in Labour’s heartlands will do the job. Go out and vote for it tomorrow.

@WG_RumblePants @SWCCcrocus @surreycricket @rajasthanroyals Factor 50?

Here I am, papped in the wild at @SWCCcrocus on Saturday — sitting on the little raised mound where I usually plant myself (and where I’ve covertly planted a Giant Sequoia seedling). I’m looking pretty incongruous in a @surreycricket cap and @rajasthanroyals shirt, but I rather like it. Well snapped @JamiePluck 👏

@Nigel_Farage You give excrement a bad name

If you vote Reform you will not have an illegal migrant deportation facility in your area. We will hold migrants awaiting deportation in constituencies that vote Green instead. You get what you vote for.