Maria Hollinger

@Walgreens what the f*** animal(s?) is this

We make our own fortunes, and then call them fate

I miss getting tip-outs as a hostess in college. Anywhere from $6-20 from the shift before, just bonus cash you really didn’t earn. Mostly went straight to mama g’s or alcohol. Nostalgia at its finest, but damn I miss that surprise Monopoly money

Dear people who don’t put their grocery carts back, I get most of my anger out by aggressively shoving mine into the string of endless and unconnected carts ahead.. I suggest maybe you do the same.

Why did instagram have to make a second instagram

Oh and then he asked me to scan the QR code and leave a nice review and I said I left my phone in my car and he said “look it up” bold move for a guy who has done nothing but infuriate me. 19 year olds don’t leave their phones bitch

I shouldn’t complain but, being carded at 31 and being told “sorry I had to you look 19” go fuck off I’m literally a decade past 21 get a new job cuz you suck at this one

They say pressure makes diamonds how the hell am I still coal?

People talk shit, say they’re gunna get better. I hold my breath, I can’t hold it forever

Am I the only one who has opened a can of mixed nuts thinking *healthy snack 😋* gotten halfway through it just to curiously peek and see About 36 servings per container

I feel for anyone with epilepsy if they’re in this lightning storm right now. Even my brain wants to seize out a lil bit ⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️

@DadgumYall The OC is the shit

Finished Gossip Girl. It had a shaky last couple of seasons, but it stuck the landing IMO. We wanted more early-2000s angst so now we're starting The OC for the first time. And it is delivering.

@DadgumYall @JeffGrubb @DadgumYall you are not wrong they absolutely did

@JeffGrubb I swear they had 5 for $5 beef and cheddars at one point

Remember what they took from us

Can I delete the word ducking from my phone dictionary serious question

I’m not superstitious… but I am a little stitious. #fridaythe13th @SteveCarell #theoffice

@PolatUtku @jen_rudder @tacobell On my way, @PolatUtku ❤️❤️

@jen_rudder @tacobell I feel you on that girl. Remember in high school when you could roll up with like the $4 you had left and order the whole menu

@DadgumYall Is it time to hit the drive thru already?

@mariahollinger It's the best one tbh

Dunno why I went back for more but

@DadgumYall I got that lil hamburgler too! Hahah