Mark McKee

Do you ever feel like your AirPods are in a bitter custody battle between your MacBook and your iPhone? Just me? K cool

I’m done with hot takes. I want a cold take. Tell me something completely baseless and not factual, and you also have no personal belief in that statement other than it slightly amuses you, albeit at the cost of truth. That’s a cold take baby

Calling art “content” is the same as having a perfectly cooked gourmet meal - that was prepared with love and intention - and referring to it as “sustenance”

My toxic trait is that I let my AirPods Bluetooth connectivity battle it out between my MacBook and my iPhone to see who gets it first

I no longer roll my eyes when people take pictures of their food at restaurants. It costs so much to go out to eat these days might as well memorialize it like it’s a wedding

A middle aged woman who works in the accounting department but moonlights as a magician: AbacaDebra

It’s very annoying to get political spam ads via text however it’s also fun to rage type STOP in response and that’s perfectly ok

Didn’t think we’d reboot the apocalypse this soon since the original dropped

@MikeMcKeeDrums @SeaTownSound Sad!

@SeaTownSound @markrmckee Come on, man!

The beleaguered @markrmckee has terrible ratings (and guitar tone)! Sad!

@NoContextBrits I Wank It That Way

@Intel_Dork Holy shit. This is the perfect tweet.

Joy Subdivision

@cassieboettcher They met up

What do they even do at the Met Gala other than dress up

For middle-aged white men, this is the same collab energy level as the KFC + Taco Bell combo stores

@cassieboettcher And if you can cc and bcc, you get a corner office

If you know how to reply all to an email, you are officially qualified for any job in the world dont @ me

@USAquarium Dying to see who’s on the marquee

IYKYK

@cassieboettcher Tom Bradley more like Tom Barely

Flying out of the international terminal when you’re not taking an international flight is SUCH A TEASE

I never wore suspenders in 2011 but I wore the HELL out of a suit vest + t shirt in 2008.

@cassieboettcher It’s terrific!

I will say that winter in LA is nice

It’s got nothing to do with piss @ITYSL_memes

You have two choices as you approach 50 without kids: Bourbon Enthusiast / History Channel Uncle Inspiring Quotes / Etsy Store Aunt I do not make the rules