NOT THE SOCIAL NETWORK

thank you for your service @muntazer_zaidi

@twincisterns i saw you playing trumpet on the Conputer

Now that I’m a trail runner I think you people need to start addressing me with more respect

did you know when america landed on the moon they littered all the poopy diapers? literally just left them there

i'm addicted to canceling amazon orders that don't ship fast enough gives me that same thrill, twice

@emgeedub post a schedule 🤝

Jesus man the dance card filled up quick for June and July… a summer of DJ prosperity is upon us

[consoling a friend after a breakup] HIM: I won’t find anyone as good as her ME (just finished watching Moneyball): we’ll recreate her in the aggregate

Disable this immediately in your Direct message settings, as it's on by default. Anyone can voice call you and see your IP address when they do

i think its ok for vegans to eat crocodile bc theyre both ugly and mean

andrew bourdain

beginning to polaroid outfits for boiler room nyc in july

@twincisterns get back to backpack posting (i got a ula dragonfly and it rocks)

FWIW I dont fault anyone for thinking this was serious, as its actually Quite Cool to be sincere and engage with the world with a serious heart, but the number of people saying I should kill myself felt a little high!

rip vice

How to file your taxes free or very cheap

They found me...

@twincisterns very good imo!

@mastodon Honestly it’s lasted what, 2 years? That’s a good roll!

@twincisterns i'm game for another challenge

@twincisterns @allen_forstel/irony-poisoning-603b7e1c87a" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">medium.com/@allen_forstel… this way not the more often written about fake alarmist path to becoming a nazi

@twincisterns irony poisoning

Is there a word for like how everything online is “satire” now and honest thoughts are no longer articulated in a direct and plain way?

“Lives found ended” is not a phrase in English. This is the first time it has ever been used. The daily coining of new euphemisms. The shame of it.

my standup special is now live, please watch and share. thanks folks youtu.be/VBlQBm5pReQ?si…