Matthew Gallagher

Americans meet the real Jamie from Scotland. Happy Valentine's. #americans #glasgow #fyp #ValentinesDay #comedy

@comedyray DM'd mate!

Anyone looking for a new amateur team? My Saturday team is looking for a couple of new bodies for this season. 10am ko in west end of Glasgow. All positions welcome. Team baths optional. Drop me a dm if you fancy it No wanks or guys that talk about how they could've gone pro.

On at The Stand Edinburgh tonight with @RaymondMearns Susan Riddell and Bruce Devlin. Should be a belter of a show. @StandComedyClub

"Aye get a sunbed before the surgery so the doctors no operating on Casper the friendly ghost"....

Couldn't act his way out a paper bag this guy!

Was a class night in @StandGlasgow as always yesterday. Great crowd and smashing line up. Also my improv skills offstage were put to use when the button on my jeans popped off and I had to use my jacket button....

So happy to be back gigging. Starting to get back in the groove with it and get some stuff im happy with and the vibes around live comedy are fucking class. Great gig last night in Peckhams everyone smashed it. This is one wee happy lad on to the next one have a class week folks

When I was 5 my gran kept a diary of what I said I liked to eat. What a wide taste I had.

Hi barber I will have the I'm in 3rd year on the Frosty Jacks at the weekend, asking for Bebop love and nudging folk on msn haircut please

Giakoumakis came over drippin in Gucci and asked if he still had a job at Celtic and I said "Gio as long as im here you're here"

@IntelligentCL @CelticFC @liammcc69

Calling all Celtic fans! 🍀⚽️ Win a Pair of Tickets to next week's @CelticFC v Rangers game. To enter: ✅ Follow @IntelligentCL ✅ Tag who you would take with you #Competition closes on Sun 30/01. Must collect tickets from Skypark HQ on 01/02. T&Cs: bit.ly/3KNhATw

@soop_dugg @StandGlasgow @StandComedyClub Cheers mate appreciate it!

@matthewtheg @StandGlasgow @StandComedyClub Class set mate was funny af 👌🏼👌🏼

First proper gig in 2 years. A full room. Loads of fun. Loads of laughs. Thanks for having me @StandGlasgow @StandComedyClub. I can't wait to come back again.

@Billykirkwood @StandGlasgow @StandComedyClub Thank man!! Hopefully catch you at a gig soon

@matthewtheg @StandGlasgow @StandComedyClub Welcome back dude!

Hi Glasgow pals pls RT this, my bike has been stolen from my close in dennistoun, I work late and rely on it to get me home. It has lights attached to the handlebar and seat and the rear mudflap is pretty scratched up. Pls message me if you happen to see it around!

The Panto at the Pavillion starts today and its gonna be a belter. Get yourself along. I am the understudy for the 6 male roles so I decided to edit the poster just incase I have to step up. Oh yes i did!

Saturday 13 November at the Beacon Arts Centre…3 days to go. Upper Circle now opened, so only a few tickets left. A play about what these guys achieved. beaconartscentre.co.uk/events/bend-it… @PaulJohnDykes @citizentommy @videocelts @cartujakds @EarlyCeltic @mrmarkmillar @BroganRoganTrev

With all the hatred and bad grammar ( that I sadly contributed to.....the grammar not the hate) on twitter I just want to take this moment to wish you a good day and remind you that even as a kid I was a fashion icon.

Tomorrow *

Yer maw says she is getting a pizza in for dinner.....but then it turns out to be a frozen one from Lidl