matt p

@StLouisBlues @NHL If this means no more kerber and vitale then blues fans everywhere will rejoice

We've partnered with the @NHL to produce regional broadcasts of our games during the 2026-27 season. Availability, channel locations and a direct-to-consumer option will be announced before the start of the season. stlblues.me/4yyHgw2 #stlblues

@SlipMaker Daddy would you like some sausage

You forgot “Freddy Got Fingered”

@Ryanair_IT 0 SEC championships for Belgium (or “italia” for that matter) so this is irrelevant.

non vedo l’ora che gli USA vengano eliminati da una squadra che non saprebbero nemmeno indicare sulla mappa

@DNeckel19 This is why I always stand when the plane lands. I’m waiting my turn and you’re not cutting in front of me.

Since when did standing up and walking to the front of a plane after landing before people got up in front of you become a thing? We all want to get off the plane. Wait your turn like everyone else. Is it a millennial or Gen Z entitlement thing?

@ollimaciid By a country mile

now that jackass is over is it safe to say jackass 2 is the best one out of the franchise….

@BrettRedacted “We’re here to change things!” “Are you bringing weapons?” “Of course not” “Then you’re not changing anything.”

I saw this movie in the Cinema Tent at Bonnaroo where Doug Benson and other comedians were meant to interrupt it with jokes but it was simply too grim and everybody just kinda watched it in stunned silence

toddlers to people with deformities in the grocery store

@NadasBubblegum @_vandul Bill Cosby is innocent!

@_vandul this joke is even funnier if you've actually taken acid before lol I still quote this show from time to time with my wife - like literally out of nowhere she'll just be like "I am the octopus"

My mayor Muslim My bagel Jewish My stepfather once told me that if I ever told anyone that I saw him holding hands with his executive assistant Gary at the Cinnabon two towns over he’d dig a hole in the backyard and bury me alive Knicks in five

@ConnorP75471749 @J_Swish24 Zoo bar has a glory hole too 👌🏼👌🏼

@J_Swish24 Fella check out zoobar unreal spot bartender is an at least 80 year old lady nailgun spot

Say I decide to go out in the guts of Kansas City (on the fence right now) where do people go? Last time I was here I was downtown and felt like I was going to get shot at any given second. That’s KC Live type ball. I’ll hang up and await instruction. Looking for a dive bar / strip of places to poke around. Maybe some live music if we’re getting greedy. Let me know and then I’ll decide if I’m going to go out. -People’s

@AbbyRack1738 The stride of pride ™

Walk of shames are so performative Nothing shameful about getting laid

@cantsmokehere She’s touring the facility and picking up slack

the line “i want a girl with a short skirt and a looooong…. jacket” reads like it’s trying to set up for an innuendo that it then subverts, but i can’t think of any sexual feature of a woman that could sub in for “jacket”, unless the guys from cake are way cooler than i thought

@Sgf_Cardinals This here’s your ass whooping stick

Introducing the Ozarks Snipe Hunters, a new alternate identity for the Springfield Cardinals, Double-A affiliate of the St. Louis Cardinals. The new alternate identity was created to honor the American cultural phenomenon of Snipe Hunting. The Cardinals will play as the Snipe Hunters on select nights at Route 66 Stadium, starting with three straight games June 11-13, 2026. More info: milb.com/springfield/fa…

Kindred spirits, these two

@JohnMoreyAuthor @AbakpaJob My entire ethos has been undone

@mattpootmann @AbakpaJob She absolutely knows what she’s doing.

@JohnMoreyAuthor @AbakpaJob Ok rebuttal accepted this dog is clearly a genius

@mattpootmann @AbakpaJob They do understand that you somehow control it, though. My dog gets specifically mad at the driver after every vet or groomer visit. Pooped in the cup holder once.

@JohnMoreyAuthor @AbakpaJob Agreed I just mean they don’t know you in the driver seat are controlling left vs right. Even looking at you turning the wheel. You’re both just along for a fun ride

@mattpootmann @AbakpaJob Dogs clearly know that they are moving, though.

@benrayfield @AbakpaJob This is really good. I have much to consider.

@mattpootmann @AbakpaJob everybodys an art critic

@heatdaddy69420 #dust

@heatdaddy69420 Imagine Brett’s dust intake that series.

It’s such a Brett hull touching his nipples kinda night