Matt B

My doorbell says Larry is people

@klem1544 @NicoGoBlue Anyone want to buy my cellar?

@NicoGoBlue @mattwindu While BA is shelf stable in a cellar indefinitely, I would never drink one after 10 yrs. The only value is based on rarity. The aging process is done and spent. The trick is in the storage.

How am I doing today, bois?

@NicoGoBlue You must have registered a long time ago. It's not something you have to update unless you move. They have a list of registered people in each precinct, and if you aren't on it, you don't get a ballot. Ever had jury duty?

@NicoGoBlue Are you sure your vote is being counted? I'm looking into it and all I can find is you can vote at the clerks office with an absentee ballot, but it also says that's where you'd have to register.

Yesterday, I learned a little about my Great Grandpa Dewey Blocksma. He was born in 1884. I was born in 1984. Doesn't seem possible.

My buddy Karl pulled out a pipe shaped like a duck yesterday. I asked if it was for smoking quack.

Just got a text from an old friend I've been trying to reach for years and I'm crying like he's back from the dead. Tonight is a great night.

I'm a man. I'm 40.

Here come the Broncos

Wouldn't the ocean rising and moving the coastline inward create less oceanfront property?

I bought a pack of Puma underwear and there's no dickhole?? Is this because woke??

@DocJeezy I did that same shit but spaghetti carbonara

Getting baked, sipping on a cold beer, and listening to tribe while I'm making sauce from scratch.

Tim Walz looks like a cross between Steve Martin and Tom Arnold.

Craisins are just crazy raisins

How did America take 5th in the gun one?

Does it mean I'm getting old if I don't recognize any of the songs from @alyankovic's new polka??

Sam Reinhart 2-1 Florida

My Union failed me today.

@DeviateHulk @TheWapplehouse The case was against an abusive father, and the only testimony on behalf of the victims was from a cop. They were literally asking everyone if we had a problem with police. Also, didn't lie.

@mattwindu @TheWapplehouse I got called for county and federal jury duty in consecutive weeks and did the same. I mean, I wasn't lying.

I’ve never been summoned for jury duty and have had friends summoned for it multiple times. I really wanna do some jury nullification.

If you have short term and long term memory loss, can't you just call it memory loss?