Quiet Criminal

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Quiet Criminal

Quiet Criminal

@mattwink

writer: formerly @Twitter (but please don’t hold that against me) bi x 2 (polar and sexual - but please don’t hold that against me)

Nomadic Katılım Eylül 2008
2.2K Takip Edilen515 Takipçiler
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Quiet Criminal
Quiet Criminal@mattwink·
“Bet on yourself.” - Pete Rose; 1987
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Danhausen
Danhausen@DanhausenAD·
@wingstop hausen says pickup your favorite flavors this WrestleMania season, or.. YOU.. ARE..CURSED! #ad @WWE
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Wingstop
Wingstop@wingstop·
share this with your boss so you can eat and bracket during work.
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Quiet Criminal
Quiet Criminal@mattwink·
i can’t believe he only had 9 rebounds.
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Wingstop
Wingstop@wingstop·
if you start eating a 5PC combo at 11:47 the clock will strike midnight just as you bite into another wing (which number wing is up to you)
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Quiet Criminal
Quiet Criminal@mattwink·
The Muppet Christmas Carol reminds me a lot of Inception.
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Quiet Criminal
Quiet Criminal@mattwink·
“Dick isn’t in enough.” - me watching the Raptors by myself
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Wingstop
Wingstop@wingstop·
millennials in 2025 •age: 39 •net worth: 40PC to 50PC •kids: just the wings •house: studio apartment where wings are eaten •sleep: after eating wings •anxiety: delivery driver can’t find apartment building
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Quiet Criminal
Quiet Criminal@mattwink·
i think i like turtles more frogs but i do like frogs a lot. 🤷‍♂️
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Ryan Walters
Ryan Walters@RyanWalters_·
Oklahoma students will be taught to think critically, not be spoon-fed MSNBC-approved narratives. The 2020 election did have irregularities. Let students study the facts and draw their own conclusions. @FOXNEWS @kevincorke
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Quiet Criminal
Quiet Criminal@mattwink·
being the hero AND the villain in your own story is fucking exhausting.
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Quiet Criminal
Quiet Criminal@mattwink·
nothing stresses old white men out more than pulling a boat into a dock.
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Quiet Criminal
Quiet Criminal@mattwink·
was Donnie Wahlberg dead the whole time?
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Quiet Criminal
Quiet Criminal@mattwink·
Phoenix Suns coach Mike Budenholzer has never not looked constipated.
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Quiet Criminal
Quiet Criminal@mattwink·
what dispensary do you think Jokic goes to?
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Quiet Criminal
Quiet Criminal@mattwink·
when i was a kid i was specifically told i could not listen to Naughty by Nature. i just saw a Starbucks commercial featuring a Naughty by Nature song during an NBA game and i was like … ok. this is my first X in a while thx for your time.
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Quiet Criminal
Quiet Criminal@mattwink·
Day 20: Saved by the Bell
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Quiet Criminal
Quiet Criminal@mattwink·
writing a cold open about being unemployed every day until i am no longer unemployed. day one: Abbott Elementary
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