Bloaty McBloatFace

@hluder @IsabelOakeshott @TalkTV @Keir_Starmer Blah

@IsabelOakeshott @TalkTV @Keir_Starmer Criticising from Dubai but wanting to comment on everything and not paying a penny towards it like the NHS and everything else that needing paying for!

On @TalkTV today my language was unusually “colourful” for which I apologise. I was triggered @Keir_Starmer appalling St George’s Day message. See below.

@ToryWipeout @ShelaghFogarty Your boring g

@ShelaghFogarty It's just such a boring story.

@ChairmanBoab @JanetEastham @Telegraph lol u r very funy

@JanetEastham @Telegraph LOL.....the torygraph is worried about justice ...

EXC: Starmer found scrapping jury trials led to wrongful convictions in NI In report unearthed by @Telegraph his delegation found removing juries from Troubles courts meant cases “failing to secure reliable convictions based on properly tested evidence” telegraph.co.uk/news/2026/03/1…

@models_by_Russ Chat GPT?

Dear Prime Minister & Home Secretary, I hope this letter finds you well, fully caffeinated, and in possession of a calculator. I’m writing with what I believe is a modest, fiscally responsible proposal. I understand the Government is offering up to £40,000 to certain individuals to voluntarily leave the United Kingdom. First of all — bold strategy. Nothing says “strong borders” quite like a cashback scheme. Now, I regret to inform you that I am, in fact, a fully tax-paying, law-abiding British citizen. I know — awkward. I appreciate this may disqualify me from the premium exit package, but I’m willing to negotiate. I would like to formally apply for £35,000 to leave. You see, unlike some applicants, I haven’t broken any laws to get here. I didn’t arrive by dinghy. I didn’t require processing, housing, or legal appeals. I’ve actually been funding the whole operation through PAYE for years — which I believe makes me a loyal shareholder in this enterprise. Given that you’re prepared to offer £40,000 for someone to depart voluntarily after entering illegally, I feel £35,000 for someone who’s been here legally all along represents excellent value for money. Think of it as a “Buy British, Get One Gone” discount. For £35,000 I will:    •   Leave quietly.    •   Not require a press conference.    •   Not demand a diversity officer to wave me off.    •   Even carry my own suitcase to the airport. I may also tweet a polite thank-you note on departure, praising the efficiency of the scheme. Frankly, it feels like I’ve misunderstood how incentives work in modern Britain. All these years I thought obeying the law, paying taxes, and contributing to society were the winning strategy. Turns out the real pro-move is to arrive unlawfully and wait for a loyalty bonus. Who knew? While British families are juggling rent, energy bills, and the weekly food shop like contestants on a dystopian game show, it’s reassuring to know the Treasury has located a spare £40,000 per head for voluntary goodbyes. May I ask — is there a points card? Ten years of National Insurance contributions and I get a free exit bonus? If so, I believe I’m overdue. In the spirit of fairness and fiscal responsibility, I am not even asking for the full £40,000. I’m trimming £5,000 off to help balance the books. That’s the kind of responsible budgeting I was raised on. If successful, I promise to:    •   Leave via a scheduled flight (economy is fine).    •   Not stage a protest on the runway.    •   And refrain from re-entering on a small boat to see if I qualify twice. All I ask is equal treatment. If departure is now a funded career pathway, I would very much like to submit my CV. Yours in hopeful relocation, A slightly confused taxpayer

@HoyasAndNatsFan @LangmanVince Parp.

@LangmanVince Actually, I don't know anyone who has had a problem with his thoughtful statements

I guarantee Hunter Hess is the most shocked person on planet Earth today with the pushback he's getting on social media because he's lived in a liberal bubble his whole life and was convinced that 99% of Americans agreed with his anti-American views!

@KongrawDarts @grok what are the odds of this happening

@OfficialPDC @grok what are the chances of this happening

The draw for the first ever Riyadh Season Saudi Darts Masters... Join us from tomorrow for a historic two days in Saudi Arabia! #RiyadhSeasonSDM26

@Danny452262 @cjsnowdon Zzz

@cjsnowdon Good. Don't like it then ride a bike.

20mph limits are "unnaturally, uncomfortably, slow". bbc.co.uk/news/articles/…

@louderry 💤

A journalist would check the stats she used, which were comparing 23 to 2024 when tories were in power and cut teacher numbers. But Kate works for the Sun, so didnt check.

@AS7624193449327 @sharrond62 @grok Fool of a Took.

@sharrond62 @grok Aww triggered?

@beverleyturner @GBNEWS @POTUS @PressSec @JasonMiller You absolute legend! You helped keep me sane during covid. Thank you 🙏

Well that's one way to start our American @GBNEWS Adventure.... He was charming, funny, very inquisitive, very interested in the UK and very sharp. We talked a lot about #FreeSpeech. Thank you @POTUS @PressSec @JasonMiller

@AcWailing @damekatydenise_ “Darling Fascist Bullyboy, Give me some more money, you bastard.”

@damekatydenise_ I laughed at this joke in The Young Ones: Rik: “And what makes you think your bank manager is a man”? Neil: “His beard”.

C!s folx, what do YOU have to apologise to the Trans community for? (5 things max per person please). I’ll start for you: Being visibly pregnant. Can be triggering & offensive. Next?

@JamesEsses Or we all start dicking around with our pronouns until the whole thing becomes meaningless.

I will never use ‘preferred pronouns’. Not for shop assistants. Not for waiters. Not for my therapy clients. Not for my colleagues. Not for my friends. Not for my future children. Never. This pernicious ideology needs to be starved of oxygen and it starts with language.

@XRLlareggub @dlLambo Rude. She’s beautiful 🤩

@dlLambo Well, you look more like a plasterer, as does your wife.

We are all Palestinian Action 🇵🇸

@Matt_Price_1971 Oh Matt, what have you done? I wil pray for you ❤️

The BBC: try to ban Kneecap and when that fails refuse to air the set. Bob Vylan: Top set so far 🫡 #Glastonbury #bobvylan

@flipkoin2 Apparently they’re terrorists—or poets? I don’t know, I think they’re like the Sex Pistols but with subtitles. If this is how democracy ends, it’s got a decent soundtrack. Hashtag endofdays

Kneecap at Glastonbury don't RT they are supposed to be terrorists or something.

@nmcinroy Democracy surely teeters when a grime act isn’t broadcast on national TV. And yet—strangely—the trains still run, elections still occur, and no one’s been disappeared (except perhaps into a Radio 4 panel show). Fascism, it seems, wears many hats. Even festival chic

Deplorable censorship. #Starmer is culpable. When politicians start to question free expression they are in danger of aligning themselves with those who fetter democracy. A space also occupied by by authoritarians and fascists theguardian.com/music/2025/jun…

@mammutly Of course Kneecap were the most anticipated act—nothing screams artistic genius like chaos in a balaclava. The BBC’s refusal to air them is both an outrage and, frankly, the most gloriously British way to honour their subversive spirit. Bravo, censorship. #Glastonbury

The band most people wanted to see at Glastonbury was Kneecap. The BBC decided not to show them for reasons of political censorship.

@narindertweets @joanneneil @JeremyVineOn5 @thecarolemalone She did you know.

@joanneneil @JeremyVineOn5 @thecarolemalone Except she didn't lol

Do people need to stop complaining about the food when they go on holiday? @narindertweets went viral for complaining about having to eat pizza and pasta in Italy. She'll be joining us to make her case. Can you see where she's coming from?

@BurnsideWasTosh @elonmusk @grok Fucking nutter.

@elonmusk @grok The jam goes on before the cream.

Please reply to this post with divisive facts for @Grok training. By this I mean things that are politically incorrect, but nonetheless factually true.