MJ🦄

When there is nothing left to burn you have to set yourself on fire.

Worklog entry: "I GOT 99 PROBLEMS AND BREADCRUMBS ARE ONE OF THEM"

Worklog entry: "This issue is almost as old as my daughter. But it's baaaaaaaaaack!"

Love it when Spotify throws me a total curve ball of an earworm: today it's Norwegian rap!!!

@LadyLovesTaft Wait till your 30s. It gets wilder.

Telling people “I don’t want kids”: -“You’ll change your mind one day” -“When you meet the right person...” -“You don’t understand, you’re not a parent” Telling people “My bloodline ends with me” -Dramatic -Your bloodline feels sacred and mystical -Vaguely threatening

"Doesn't this things have a radio?" ...so we can listen to different Pink Floyd!!

I’m “look, I like the Iron & Wine cover of ‘Such Great Heights’, ok” years old

OMG EUROVISION IS COMING 💖

ME: It’s Rex Manning Day! TEEN: what’s that ME: It’s a day where we celebrate Rex Manning from Empire Records! TEEN: what’s Empire Records? ME: it’s a movie about a record store TEEN: what’s a record store ME: *draws sword*

@showupforthis I have on more than one occasion typed "just a sex" to a coworker instead of "just a sec" 😳

I'm a modern girl but i fold in half so easily When i put myself in the picture of success

The Straight Male version of “thank u, next” be like “one taught me basic emotional intelligence, one taught me standard grooming skills, one taught me a few things about feminism, now I’m off for some other woman to benefit from the emotional labor of my exes”

sometimes i’ll pretend like i dont need to cross the street when im at a corner and a car stops for me, because i think its “rude to the car” to make them wait

The Vernal Equinox — the point at which the sun is directly over the equator signaling the start of #spring is right now at 2:58 p.m. Pacific time. #springequinox

You’re telling me Goose the Cat wore a tie to the Captain Marvel premiere and this is not the top news story for the night?

Happy